مُعَاتَبَةُ النَّفْسِ
Muʿātabatu al-Nafsi
Reproaching the Soul
الْحَارِثُ بْنُ أَسَدٍ الْمُحَاسِبِيُّ
Al-Ḥārithu bnu ʾAsadin al-Muḥāsibiyyu
Al-Ḥārith ibn Asad al-Muḥāsibī
Source page 61
[اسْتَحِي مِنَ اللَّهِ وَحْدَهُ]
[Istaḥī mina Allāhi waḥdahu]
[Feel shame before God alone]
يَا نَفْسُ فَادْعِيهِ وَأَنْتِ مِنْهُ مُسْتَحْيِيَةٌ، فَقَدْ طَالَ قِلَّةُ حَيَائِكِ مِنْهُ.
Yā nafsu fa-idʿīhi wa-ʾanti minhu mustaḥyiyatun, fa-qad ṭāla qillatu ḥayāʾiki minhu.
My soul, call upon Him with shame before Him, for your lack of shame before Him has lasted long.
وَيْحَكِ، تَسْتَحِينَ مِنَ الْخَلْقِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْكَافِرِينَ أَنْ يَرَوْا فِيكِ مَا يَعِيبُونَكِ بِهِ، وَلَا تَسْتَحِي مِمَّنْ يَطَّلِعُ عَلَى كَثْرَةِ مَا عِنْدَكِ مِنْ ذُنُوبٍ وَسُوءِ ضَمِيرِكِ.
Wayḥaki, tastaḥīna mina al-khalqi mina al-muʾminīna wa-al-kāfirīna ʾan yaraw fīki mā yaʿībūnaki bihi, wa-lā tastaḥī mimman yaṭṭaliʿu ʿalā kathrati mā ʿindaki min dhunūbin wa-sūʾi ḍamīriki.
Alas for you! You feel ashamed before creatures, believers and unbelievers alike, lest they see something in you for which they would reproach you. Yet you feel no shame before the One who sees the multitude of your sins and the evil within your heart.
وَيْحَكِ، إِذَا حَمَلْتِ وِعَاءً مِنْ أَوْعِيَةِ الشَّرِّ، فَإِنَّكِ تَرْتَعِدِينَ خَوْفًا أَنْ يَبْدُوَ لِلنَّاسِ شَيْءٌ مِمَّا فِيهِ مِنَ الشَّرِّ. فَمَتَى تُصْلِحِي مَا بَيْنَكِ وَبَيْنَ اللَّهِ؟
Wayḥaki, ʾidhā ḥamalti wiʿāʾan min ʾawʿiyati al-sharri, fa-ʾinnaki tartaʿidīna khawfan ʾan yabduwa li-al-nāsi shayʾun mimmā fīhi mina al-sharri. Fa-matā tuṣliḥī mā baynaki wa-bayna Allāhi?
Alas for you! When you carry a vessel of evil, you tremble for fear that people may see any of the evil it contains. When will you set right what lies between you and God?
هَيْهَاتَ، اذْكُرِي الْمَوْتَ كَالْعَبْدِ السُّوءِ الَّذِي لَا يَسْتَحِي مِنْ مَوْلَاهُ، وَلَا يَرْجِعُ عَنْ مَسَاوِئِهِ، وَلَا يَعْرِفُ إِحْسَانَهُ إِلَيْهِ إِلَّا عِنْدَ الْحِسَابِ، وَالْعِقَابِ، وَاذْكُرِي الْمَوْتَ وَمَا بَعْدَ الْمَوْتِ.
Hayhāta, udhkurī al-mawta ka-al-ʿabdi al-sūʾi alladhī lā yastaḥī min mawlāhu, wa-lā yarjiʿu ʿan masāwiʾihi, wa-lā yaʿrifu ʾiḥsānahu ʾilayhi ʾillā ʿinda al-ḥisābi, wa-al-ʿiqābi, wa-udhkurī al-mawta wa-mā baʿda al-mawti.
Far from it! Remember death, like the bad servant who feels no shame before his master, does not turn back from his wrongs, and recognizes his master’s kindness only at the reckoning and punishment [the comparison is abrupt in the source]. Remember death and what comes after death.
مَا ظَنُّكِ بِمَنْ يَكْرَهُ أَنْ يَطَّلِعَ النَّاسُ مِنْهُ عَلَى مَا يَكْرَهُ اللَّهُ، وَلَا يَسْتَحِي أَنْ يَطَّلِعَ اللَّهُ مِنْهُ عَلَى مَا يَكْرَهُ. سَوْءَةً لَكِ، وَتَعَجُّبًا لَكِ!
Mā ẓannuki biman yakrahu ʾan yaṭṭaliʿa al-nāsu minhu ʿalā mā yakrahu Allāhu, wa-lā yastaḥī ʾan yaṭṭaliʿa Allāhu minhu ʿalā mā yakrahu. Sawʾatan laki, wa-taʿajjuban laki!
What do you think of someone who hates people seeing in him what God hates, yet feels no shame when God sees in him what He hates? Shame upon you! How astonishing you are!
Source pages 61–62
حَيْثُ تَتْرُكِي، وَتُضَيِّعِي الْفَرْضَ، وَتَرْكَبِي مِنَ الْأَشْيَاءِ مَا كَرِهَ اللَّهُ، ثُمَّ تَتَقَرَّبِي إِلَى اللَّهِ بِمَا لَمْ يَفْرِضْهُ عَلَيْكِ، وَتَتَعَاطَيْ النَّوَافِلَ، وَتَأْمُرِي، وَتَنْهَيْ، وَتَدْعِي النَّاسَ بِزَعْمِكِ إِلَى اللَّهِ، وَتَأْبَقِي مِنْهُ
Ḥaythu tatrukī, wa-tuḍayyiʿī al-farḍa, wa-tarkabī mina al-ʾashyāʾi mā kariha Allāhu, thumma tataqarrabī ʾilā Allāhi bimā lam yafriḍhu ʿalayki, wa-tataʿāṭay al-nawāfila, wa-taʾmurī, wa-tanhay, wa-tadʿī al-nāsa bizaʿmiki ʾilā Allāhi, wa-taʾbaqī minhu
You abandon and neglect obligatory duty, undertake what God hates, and then seek nearness to God through what He has not made obligatory upon you. You take up supererogatory acts, command and forbid, and claim to call people to God while running away from Him.
Source page 62
وَتَأْمُرِي وَلَا تَعْمَلِي، وَتَنْهَيْ وَلَا تَنْتَهِي. سَوْءَةً لَكِ، فَمِنْ ذَلِكَ يَنْبَغِي أَنْ تَسْتَحِي.
Wa-taʾmurī wa-lā taʿmalī, wa-tanhay wa-lā tantahī. Sawʾatan laki, fa-min dhālika yanbaghī ʾan tastaḥī.
You command without acting and forbid without desisting yourself. Shame upon you! This is what you should be ashamed of.
فَادْعِي عَلَى تَفَقُّدِ لُطْفِ مَوْلَاكِ لَعَلَّكِ أَنْ تَسْتَحِينَ مِنْهُ، فَإِنَّ لُطْفَهُ بَاطِنٌ وَظَاهِرٌ مَعَ إِسَاءَةٍ مِنْكِ بَاطِنَةٍ وَظَاهِرَةٍ،
Fa-idʿī ʿalā tafaqqudi luṭfi mawlāki laʿallaki ʾan tastaḥīna minhu, fa-ʾinna luṭfahu bāṭinun wa-ẓāhirun maʿa ʾisāʾatin minki bāṭinatin wa-ẓāhiratin,
Pray while attending to your Master’s gentle care, so that perhaps you may feel shame before Him. His care is inward and outward, despite your inward and outward wrongdoing.
فَهُوَ يُدِيمُ إِحْسَانَهُ بِأَضْعَافِ الْإِحْسَانِ مَعَ دَوَامِكِ عَلَى الْإِسَاءَةِ بِصُنُوفٍ مِنَ الْإِسَاءَةِ.
Fa-huwa yudīmu ʾiḥsānahu bi-ʾaḍʿāfi al-ʾiḥsāni maʿa dawāmiki ʿalā al-ʾisāʾati biṣunūfin mina al-ʾisāʾati.
He continues His kindness with kindness multiplied, while you continue doing wrong in every variety of wrongdoing.
وَيْحَكِ، أَوَ كَافِرَةٌ أَنْتِ؟ أَمْ شَاكَّةٌ فِي اللَّهِ أَنْتِ؟ وَيْلَكِ، وَالْوَيْلُ لَكِ، مَا أَسْوَأَ حَالَكِ! مُهْلَكَةٌ وَأَنْتِ تَعْلَمِينَ، مَعَ ذَلِكَ فِي السُّرُورِ تَتَقَلَّبِينَ، وَبِاللَّهِ لَا تُبَالِينَ،
Wayḥaki, ʾawa kāfiratun ʾanti? ʾAm shākkatun fī Allāhi ʾanti? Waylaki, wa-al-waylu laki, mā ʾaswaʾa ḥālaki! Muhlakatun wa-ʾanti taʿlamīna, maʿa dhālika fī al-surūri tataqallabīna, wa-bi-Allāhi lā tubālīna,
Alas for you! Are you an unbeliever, or do you doubt God? Woe to you, woe is yours! How wretched your condition: destroyed, and you know it, yet you move about in delight and pay no heed to God.
مِنْ خَلْقِهِ تَسْتَحِينَ وَمِنْهُ لَا تَسْتَحِينَ! وَيْلَكِ، عَلَى الْغَضَبِ مِنْهُ تَسْتَقْدِرِينَ! أَمَا تَسْتَدِلِّينَ؟ فَأَنْتِ لَا تَكْتَرِثِينَ وَلَا تَحْزَنِينَ، كُلُّ ذَلِكَ غِرَّةٌ بِاللَّهِ وَجُرْأَةٌ عَلَيْهِ؟!
Min khalqihi tastaḥīna wa-minhu lā tastaḥīna! Waylaki, ʿalā al-ghaḍabi minhu tastaqdirīna! ʾAmā tastadillīna? Fa-ʾanti lā taktarithīna wa-lā taḥzanīna, kullu dhālika ghirratun bi-Allāhi wa-jurʾatun ʿalayhi?!
You feel shame before His creatures but none before Him! Woe to you! Do you think yourself strong enough to withstand His anger? Will you not draw the lesson? You neither care nor grieve. Is all this self-deception concerning God and insolence toward Him?
فَقَدْ تَحَيَّرْتُ يَا نَفْسُ فِي أَمْرِكِ! وَتَبَلَّدْتُ فِي التَّأَنِّي لِكَيْ أُعَانِيَكِ وَلَا تُغِيثِينِي، وَأَعِظُكِ وَلَا تَتَّعِظِينَ وَلَا تَنْكَسِرِينَ،
Fa-qad taḥayyartu yā nafsu fī ʾamriki! Wa-taballadtu fī al-taʾannī likay ʾuʿāniyaki wa-lā tughīthīnī, wa-ʾaʿiẓuki wa-lā tattaʿiẓīna wa-lā tankasirīna,
My soul, I am bewildered by you! I have grown dull in patient waiting as I struggle with you, and you give me no help [the opening syntax is difficult]. I admonish you, but you neither take heed nor become humble.
وَأُعَيِّرُكِ فَلَا تَسْتَحِي، وَأَشْكُوكِ إِلَى مَنْ عَلِمَكِ فَلَا تُدَانِي أَهْلًا لِلْجَوَابِ، وَأَسْتَغِيثُ مِنْكِ فَلَا تُغِيثِينِي!
Wa-ʾuʿayyiruki fa-lā tastaḥī, wa-ʾashkūki ʾilā man ʿalimaki fa-lā tudānī ʾahlan li-al-jawābi, wa-ʾastaghīthu minki fa-lā tughīthīnī!
I reproach you, but you feel no shame. I complain of you to the One who knows you, but you do not come close to deserving an answer. I cry for rescue from you, and you do not rescue me!
Source pages 62–63
فَمَا أَدْرِي! كَيْفَ حِيَلِي؟ وَلِمَنْ أَسْتَغِيثُ؟ وَبِمَنْ أَسْتَعِينُ؟ عَلَى رَبِّي لَعَلَّهُ لَهُ عِنْدَهُ جَاهًا فَيَطْلُبُ لِي فَيُشَفِّعَهُ وَيُفَرِّجُ عَنِّي، فَمَا أَجِدُ حِيلَةً إِنْ لَمْ يُجِبْ دَعْوَتِي!
Fa-mā ʾadrī! Kayfa ḥiyalī? Wa-liman ʾastaghīthu? Wa-biman ʾastaʿīnu? ʿAlā rabbī laʿallahu lahu ʿindahu jāhan fa-yaṭlubu lī fa-yushaffiʿahu wa-yufarriju ʿannī, fa-mā ʾajidu ḥīlatan ʾin lam yujib daʿwatī!
I do not know! What resources do I have? To whom can I cry for rescue? Whose aid can I enlist with my Lord, in hope that he has standing with Him and will ask on my behalf, so that He accepts his intercession and relieves me? I can find no resource if He does not answer my prayer!
Source page 63
مَوْلَايَ، وَلَا مَطْلَبَ لِلْفَرَجِ إِلَّا بِتَكْرَارِ الْإِغَاثَةِ، وَدَوَامِ الشَّكْوَى، لَعَلَّهُ يَرْحَمُ ضَعْفِي، وَيَكْشِفُ ضُرِّي، وَيُزِيلُ سُقْمِي، وَيُنْعِشُ صَرْعِي، وَيُنْقِذُنِي مِنْ غَرَقٍ.
Mawlāya, wa-lā maṭlaba li-al-faraji ʾillā bitakrāri al-ʾighāthati, wa-dawāmi al-shakwā, laʿallahu yarḥamu ḍaʿfī, wa-yakshifu ḍurrī, wa-yuzīlu suqmī, wa-yunʿishu ṣarʿī, wa-yunqidhunī min gharaqin.
My Master! There is no way to seek relief except by repeatedly [asking for] rescue and continually complaining, in hope that He will pity my weakness, remove my distress and sickness, raise me from my fall, and save me from drowning.
فَأَنَا وَاللَّهِ الْكَذَّابُ الْمَسْتُورُ عِنْدَ الْعِبَادِ، وَأَنَا الْهَالِكُ الْفَرِحُ، وَأَنَا الْغَرِيقُ الْمَسْرُورُ.
Fa-ʾanā wa-Allāhi al-kadhdhābu al-mastūru ʿinda al-ʿibādi, wa-ʾanā al-hāliku al-fariḥu, wa-ʾanā al-gharīqu al-masrūru.
By God, I am the liar whose faults are hidden from people, the cheerful one who is perishing, the delighted one who is drowning.
Source page 64
[لَا تَقْنَطْ مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ]
[Lā taqnaṭ min raḥmati Allāhi]
[Do not despair of God’s mercy]
يَا رَبِّ، فَمَنْ سَمِعَ بِمِثْلِ ضَعْفِي، وَمَنْ رَأَى مِثْلَ شَرِّ مَنْزِلَتِي، فَإِلَيْكَ أَشْكُو، وَبِكَ أَسْتَغِيثُ، مَعَ الْيَقِينِ بِأَنِّي لَسْتُ أَهْلًا لِأَنْ تُغِيثَنِي وَلَا تُفَرِّجَ عَنِّي،
Yā rabbi, fa-man samiʿa bimithli ḍaʿfī, wa-man raʾā mithla sharri manzilatī, fa-ʾilayka ʾashkū, wa-bika ʾastaghīthu, maʿa al-yaqīni bi-ʾannī lastu ʾahlan li-ʾan tughīthanī wa-lā tufarrija ʿannī,
Lord, who has heard of weakness like mine or seen a condition as wretched? To You I complain, and through You I seek rescue, certain that I do not deserve Your rescue or relief.
لَكِنْ أَنْتَ أَهْلٌ أَنْ تُرَوِّحَ عَنِّي، وَتَرْحَمَ مَسْكَنَتِي، فَإِنَّ مَعْرِفَتِي أَنَّهُ لَا يَمْلِكُ أَحَدٌ إِغَاثَتِي غَيْرُكَ هِيَ الَّتِي اضْطَرَّتْنِي إِلَى الْإِيَاسِ مِنْ كُلِّ فَرَجٍ إِلَّا مِنْ عِنْدِكَ.
Lākin ʾanta ʾahlun ʾan turawwiḥa ʿannī, wa-tarḥama maskanatī, fa-ʾinna maʿrifatī ʾannahu lā yamliku ʾaḥadun ʾighāthatī ghayruka hiya allatī iḍṭarratnī ʾilā al-ʾiyāsi min kulli farajin ʾillā min ʿindika.
But it befits You to ease my burden and have mercy on my destitution. My knowledge that no one but You has power to rescue me has forced me to abandon hope of any relief except from You.
الْأَمَلُ فِيكَ أَنْ تُجِيبَ دَعْوَتِي، وَتُنْعِشَنِي مِنْ مَصْرَعِي فَلَا تُخَيِّبْ أَمَلِي، وَعَجِّلْ لِتَحْقِيقِ طَمَعِي،
Al-ʾamalu fīka ʾan tujība daʿwatī, wa-tunʿishanī min maṣraʿī fa-lā tukhayyib ʾamalī, wa-ʿajjil litaḥqīqi ṭamaʿī,
My hope in You is that You will answer my prayer and raise me from where I have fallen. Do not disappoint my hope. Hasten the fulfillment of my longing.
فَمَا جَرَّأَنِي عَلَى الطَّلَبِ إِلَّا مَا مَنَنْتَ عَلَيَّ بِهِ مِنْ مَعْرِفَةِ وُجُودِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، وَرَحْمَتِكَ الْوَاسِعَةِ، وَتَحَنُّنِكَ عَلَى الضُّعَفَاءِ مِنْ قَبْلِي، وَنَقَلْتَ مَنْ نَقَلْتَ مِنْ عَظِيمِ جُرْمِهِ وَكَثْرَةِ خَطَايَاهُ وَمَسَاوِئِ فِعْلِهِ.
Fa-mā jarraʾanī ʿalā al-ṭalabi ʾillā mā mananta ʿalayya bihi min maʿrifati wujūdika al-ʿaẓīmi, wa-raḥmatika al-wāsiʿati, wa-taḥannunika ʿalā al-ḍuʿafāʾi min qablī, wa-naqalta man naqalta min ʿaẓīmi jurmihi wa-kathrati khaṭāyāhu wa-masāwiʾi fiʿlihi.
Nothing has emboldened me to ask except Your gift of knowledge of Your great existence, Your vast mercy, and Your tenderness toward the weak before me, and that You have transformed those You transformed, removing them from enormous offenses, countless sins, and evil deeds.
Source page 65
[تَذَكَّرْ عَذَابَ الْقَبْرِ]
[Tadhakkar ʿadhāba al-qabri]
[Remember the punishment of the grave]
فَأَغِثْنِي يَا مُغِيثُ، وَارْحَمْنِي يَا رَحِيمُ، فَأَنَا الْيَوْمَ فِي رَفَاهِيَةٍ فِي دُنْيَايَ مَعَ سُوءِ حَالِي فِي دِينِي.
Fa-ʾaghithnī yā mughīthu, wa-irḥamnī yā raḥīmu, fa-ʾanā al-yawma fī rafāhiyatin fī dunyāya maʿa sūʾi ḥālī fī dīnī.
Rescue me, O Rescuer, and have mercy on me, O Merciful One. Today I enjoy ease in my worldly life despite the sorry state of my religion.
فَقَدْ قَرُبَ زَوَالُ الدُّنْيَا عَنِّي، وَوُقُوعِي فِي الْأَهْوَالِ الْمُتَّصِلَةِ، وَالشَّدَائِدِ الْمُتَدَارِكَةِ، وَالْغُمُومِ الْمُتَوَافِرَةِ مِنْ نَزْعِ الْمَوْتِ وَكَرْبِهِ،
Fa-qad qaruba zawālu al-dunyā ʿannī, wa-wuqūʿī fī al-ʾahwāli al-muttaṣilati, wa-al-shadāʾidi al-mutadārikati, wa-al-ghumūmi al-mutawāfirati min nazʿi al-mawti wa-karbihi,
The departure of this world from me is near, as is my descent into unbroken terrors, hardships overtaking one another, and abundant sorrows from the wrenching of death and its distress,
مَعَ عَظِيمِ خَطَرِ مَا يَأْتِينِي مِنْكَ مِنَ الصَّفْحِ وَالْغُفْرَانِ، أَوِ السَّخَطِ لِمَا كَانَ مِنِّي مِنَ الْعِصْيَانِ.
Maʿa ʿaẓīmi khaṭari mā yaʾtīnī minka mina al-ṣafḥi wa-al-ghufrāni, ʾawi al-sakhaṭi limā kāna minnī mina al-ʿiṣyāni.
alongside the momentous uncertainty of what will come to me from You: pardon and forgiveness, or displeasure because of my disobedience.
ثُمَّ حُلُولِ الْقَبْرِ وَضَغْطَةِ الْأَرْضِ، وَالسُّؤَالِ مِنَ الْمَلَكَيْنِ، وَالْمُكْثِ الطَّوِيلِ فِي الْبَرْزَخِ، ثُمَّ الْحَشْرِ وَالْكَشْفِ عَنِ الْغِطَاءِ.
Thumma ḥulūli al-qabri wa-ḍaghṭati al-ʾarḍi, wa-al-suʾāli mina al-malakayni, wa-al-mukthi al-ṭawīli fī al-barzakhi, thumma al-ḥashri wa-al-kashfi ʿani al-ghiṭāʾi.
Then comes entering the grave, the earth’s pressure, questioning by the two angels, the long stay in the intermediate realm, then the gathering and the lifting of the veil.
فَإِنْ لَقِيتُكَ عَلَى حَالَتِي هَذِهِ فَمَا أَطْوَلَ هَمِّي فِي الْقَبْرِ، وَمَا أَشَدَّ يَوْمَ النُّشُورِ عَلَيَّ،
Fa-ʾin laqītuka ʿalā ḥālatī hādhihi fa-mā ʾaṭwala hammī fī al-qabri, wa-mā ʾashadda yawma al-nushūri ʿalayya,
If I meet You in this condition, how long my anxiety in the grave will be, and how hard the Day of Resurrection upon me!
ثُمَّ يَغْلِبُ عَلَى قَلْبِي إِنْ لَمْ تُغِثْنِي فِي الدُّنْيَا، فَتَنْقُلَنِي مِمَّا يُسْخِطُكَ إِلَى مَا يُرْضِيكَ عَنِّي، إِنَّ إِغَاثَتَكَ فِي تِلْكَ الْأَهْوَالِ لَا تَنَالُنِي،
Thumma yaghlibu ʿalā qalbī ʾin lam tughithnī fī al-dunyā, fa-tanqulanī mimmā yuskhiṭuka ʾilā mā yurḍīka ʿannī, ʾinna ʾighāthataka fī tilka al-ʾahwāli lā tanālunī,
The thought then overwhelms my heart that, if You do not rescue me in this world and move me from what displeases You to what wins Your pleasure, Your rescue amid those terrors will not reach me.
فَالْهَلَاكُ الَّذِي وَاللَّهِ لَا يَنْقَطِعُ فِي لِقَائِكَ، وَالْهَوَانُ فِي يَوْمِ النُّشُورِ. فَيَا غُرْبَتِي فِي الْقِيَامَةِ، وَيَا طُولَ الْحَسْرَةِ وَالنَّدَامَةِ.
Fa-al-halāku alladhī wa-Allāhi lā yanqaṭiʿu fī liqāʾika, wa-al-hawānu fī yawmi al-nushūri. Fa-yā ghurbatī fī al-qiyāmati, wa-yā ṭūla al-ḥasrati wa-al-nadāmati.
Then there is destruction that, by God, never ends when meeting You, and humiliation on the Day of Resurrection. How estranged I will be at the resurrection, and how long my regret and remorse!
Source page 66
فَيَا طُولَ بُكَائِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ، وَسِجْنِي فِي النَّارِ عَنْ طِيبِ جِوَارِكَ وَالنَّظَرِ إِلَى جَلَالِكَ.
Fa-yā ṭūla bukāʾī yawma al-qiyāmati, wa-sijnī fī al-nāri ʿan ṭībi jiwārika wa-al-naẓari ʾilā jalālika.
How long my weeping on the Day of Resurrection, and my imprisonment in the Fire, cut off from the delight of Your nearness and the sight of Your majesty!
إِنِّي لَأَرْجُو، وَإِنْ كُنْتَ أَخَّرْتَ إِغَاثَتِي، أَنْ لَا تَدَعَنِي لِسُوءِ حَالِي حَتَّى يُعَجَّلَ فَرَجِي وَنُقْلَتِي.
ʾInnī laʾarjū, wa-ʾin kunta ʾakhkharta ʾighāthatī, ʾan lā tadaʿanī lisūʾi ḥālī ḥattā yuʿajjala farajī wa-nuqlatī.
Even though You have delayed my rescue, I hope that You will not abandon me to my sorry state, until my relief and transformation are hastened.
فَأَسْأَلُكَ بِوَجْهِكَ الْكَرِيمِ، وَقُدْرَتِكَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ، وَإِرَادَتِكَ النَّافِذَةِ فِي كُلِّ مَا تُرِيدُ، وَأَوَّلِيَّتِكَ الَّتِي لَا بِدَايَةَ لَهَا، وَبَقَائِكَ الَّذِي لَا انْقِطَاعَ لَهُ،
Fa-ʾasʾaluka biwajhika al-karīmi, wa-qudratika ʿalā kulli shayʾin, wa-ʾirādatika al-nāfidhati fī kulli mā turīdu, wa-ʾawwaliyyatika allatī lā bidāyata lahā, wa-baqāʾika alladhī lā inqiṭāʿa lahu,
I ask You by Your noble face, Your power over everything, Your will that takes effect in everything You intend, Your firstness that has no beginning, and Your permanence that has no end,
أَنْ تَكْشِفَ حُزْنِي، وَلَا تُؤَاخِذَنِي بِعَظِيمِ جُرْمِي، وَكَثْرَةِ عِصْيَانِي، قِلَّةِ حَيَائِي.
ʾAn takshifa ḥuznī, wa-lā tuʾākhidhanī biʿaẓīmi jurmī, wa-kathrati ʿiṣyānī, qillati ḥayāʾī.
to remove my grief and not hold me accountable for the enormity of my offense, my frequent disobedience, and my lack of shame.
Source page 67
[دَاوِمْ عَلَى الْإِغَاثَةِ وَالدُّعَاءِ لِلَّهِ]
[Dāwim ʿalā al-ʾighāthati wa-al-duʿāʾi li-llāhi]
[Persist in seeking rescue and praying to God]
فَوَعِزَّتِكَ، لَا يَرُدُّنِي رَدُّكَ لِي، وَتَرْكُكَ إِغَاثَتِي، إِلَّا دَوَامًا عَلَى التَّضَرُّعِ، وَكَثْرَةَ الْإِلْحَاحِ بِالطَّلَبِ، لِأَنَّهُ لَا يَحِلُّ لِي أَنْ يَنْقَطِعَ مِنْكَ رَجَائِي.
Fa-wa-ʿizzatika, lā yaruddunī radduka lī, wa-tarkuka ʾighāthatī, ʾillā dawāman ʿalā al-taḍarruʿi, wa-kathrata al-ʾilḥāḥi bi-al-ṭalabi, li-ʾannahu lā yaḥillu lī ʾan yanqaṭiʿa minka rajāʾī.
By Your might, Your rejection of me and withholding of rescue only return me to continual supplication and persistent asking, because it is not lawful for me to lose hope in You.
فَلِمَ تُؤَخِّرُ إِجَابَتِي؟ فَلَا بُخْلَ يَعْتَرِيكَ، وَلَا لِزَوَالِ قُدْرَةٍ مِنْكَ عَلَى فَرَجِي، وَلَا أَنَّكَ تَعْلَمُ سُوءَ حَالِي وَلَا أَنَّ رَحْمَتَكَ تَضِيقُ عَنِّي، وَلَا لِأَنِّي لَسْتُ مُحْتَاجًا مُضْطَرًّا إِلَى مَا أَطْلُبُ إِلَيْكَ.
Fa-lima tuʾakhkhiru ʾijābatī? Fa-lā bukhla yaʿtarīka, wa-lā lizawāli qudratin minka ʿalā farajī, wa-lā ʾannaka taʿlamu sūʾa ḥālī wa-lā ʾanna raḥmataka taḍīqu ʿannī, wa-lā li-ʾannī lastu muḥtājan muḍṭarran ʾilā mā ʾaṭlubu ʾilayka.
Why, then, do You delay answering me? No miserliness affects You. It is not because Your power to relieve me has ceased, nor because You know my sorry state [printed thus], nor because Your mercy is too narrow for me, nor because I lack desperate need of what I ask from You.
وَأَتَضَرَّعُ وَأَسْتَغِيثُ، فَإِذَا كَانَتْ لَا عِلَّةَ لِحَبْسِ إِجَابَتِي إِلَّا مِنْ قِبَلِي، وَلَا يَحِلُّ أَنْ يَنْقَطِعَ مِنْكَ رَجَائِي، لِأَنَّكَ لَوْ أَرَدْتَ أَنْ يَنْقَطِعَ رَجَائِي لَمْ يَبْقَ لِي فِيكَ الْأَمَلُ،
Wa-ʾataḍarraʿu wa-ʾastaghīthu, fa-ʾidhā kānat lā ʿillata liḥabsi ʾijābatī ʾillā min qibalī, wa-lā yaḥillu ʾan yanqaṭiʿa minka rajāʾī, li-ʾannaka law ʾaradta ʾan yanqaṭiʿa rajāʾī lam yabqa lī fīka al-ʾamalu,
I implore You and seek rescue. If the only cause of an answer being withheld lies in me, and it is not lawful for my hope in You to end, for had You wished my hope to end, no hope in You would have remained for me,
وَقَدْ حَسُنَ فِيكَ ظَنِّي وَأَمْكَنَنِي طَمَعٌ أَنْ تُرِيدَ إِجَابَتِي، وَإِنَّكَ إِنَّمَا حَبَسْتَ عَنِّي الْإِغَاثَةَ لِيَطُولَ مِنِّي الطَّلَبُ، وَيَدُومَ مِنِّي التَّضَرُّعُ،
Wa-qad ḥasuna fīka ẓannī wa-ʾamkananī ṭamaʿun ʾan turīda ʾijābatī, wa-ʾinnaka ʾinnamā ḥabasta ʿannī al-ʾighāthata liyaṭūla minnī al-ṭalabu, wa-yadūma minnī al-taḍarruʿu,
then my expectation of You is good, and I can hope that You wish to answer me, and have withheld rescue only so that my asking may be prolonged and my supplication endure,
كَمَا دُمْتُ عَلَى مَعَاصِيكَ، وَوَاظَبْتُ عَلَى تَضْيِيعِ أَمْرِكَ، فَتَحْبِسُ حَتَّى أُدْمِنَ عَلَى التَّضَرُّعِ، كَمَا أَدْمَنْتُ عَلَى الْإِعْرَاضِ عَنْكَ عُقُوبَةً.
Kamā dumtu ʿalā maʿāṣīka, wa-wāẓabtu ʿalā taḍyīʿi ʾamrika, fa-taḥbisu ḥattā ʾudmina ʿalā al-taḍarruʿi, kamā ʾadmantu ʿalā al-ʾiʿrāḍi ʿanka ʿuqūbatan.
just as I persisted in disobeying You and continually neglected Your command. As punishment, You withhold [rescue] until I become constant in supplication, just as I was constant in turning away from You.
Source pages 67–68
ثُمَّ تُفَرِّجُ عَنِّي بَعْدَ الْإِلْحَاحِ، وَتُغِيثُنِي بَعْدَ الدَّوَامِ عَلَى الشَّكْوَى وَالِاسْتِكَانَةِ. فَأَسْرِعْ غِيَاثِي، وَلَا تُكَافِئْنِي بِطُولِ تَأْدِيبِي،
Thumma tufarriju ʿannī baʿda al-ʾilḥāḥi, wa-tughīthunī baʿda al-dawāmi ʿalā al-shakwā wa-al-istikānati. Fa-ʾasriʿ ghiyāthī, wa-lā tukāfiʾnī biṭūli taʾdībī,
Then You relieve me after persistence and rescue me after continual complaint and humble submission. Hasten my rescue, then, and do not repay me with prolonged discipline.
Source page 68
فَإِنْ كَافَأْتَنِي وَأَنْتَ تُرِيدُ أَنْ تُغِيثَنِي بَعْدَ طُولِ الدُّعَاءِ، فَلَا تَنْزِعْ مِنِّي تَوْفِيقَكَ لِإِدَامَةِ الِاسْتِغَاثَةِ، وَتَوَاتُرِ الِاسْتِكَانَةِ.
Fa-ʾin kāfaʾtanī wa-ʾanta turīdu ʾan tughīthanī baʿda ṭūli al-duʿāʾi, fa-lā tanziʿ minnī tawfīqaka li-ʾidāmati al-istighāthati, wa-tawāturi al-istikānati.
If You do repay me thus, intending to rescue me after prolonged prayer, do not take away Your enabling grace that allows me to keep seeking rescue and repeatedly humbling myself.
فَإِنِّي لَا أَقْدِرُ عَلَى الْإِلْحَاحِ بِالْفَزَعِ إِلَيْكَ إِلَّا بِتَوْفِيقِكَ، فَلَسْتُ أَدَّعِي الدُّعَاءَ إِنْ حَبَسْتَ عَلَيَّ النُّقْلَةَ.
Fa-ʾinnī lā ʾaqdiru ʿalā al-ʾilḥāḥi bi-al-fazaʿi ʾilayka ʾillā bitawfīqika, fa-lastu ʾaddaʿī al-duʿāʾa ʾin ḥabasta ʿalayya al-nuqlata.
I cannot persist in fleeing to You except through Your enabling grace. I do not claim prayer if You withhold my change of state [the printed final clause is uncertain in meaning].
ثُمَّ تَسْتَجِيبُ دَعْوَتِي وَتَرْحَمُ ضَرَعِي وَهَلَعِي، فَهَا أَنَا ذَا مُتَضَرِّعٌ مِسْكِينٌ، وَعِلْمُكَ عَلَيَّ أَضْرَعُ وَأَخْضَعُ.
Thumma tastajību daʿwatī wa-tarḥamu ḍaraʿī wa-halaʿī, fa-hā ʾanā dhā mutaḍarriʿun miskīnun, wa-ʿilmuka ʿalayya ʾaḍraʿu wa-ʾakhḍaʿu.
Then You answer my prayer and pity my abasement and panic. Here I am, a destitute supplicant; in Your knowledge of me I am more abased and more humble [the printed syntax is irregular].
فَإِنْ تُعَجِّلْ فَرَجِي فَقَدْ تَمَّ سُرُورِي، وَإِنْ تُؤَخِّرْ رَاحَتِي مِنْ بَلَائِي فَفِي الطَّلَبِ وَالدُّعَاءِ تَنْفِيسٌ،
Fa-ʾin tuʿajjil farajī fa-qad tamma surūrī, wa-ʾin tuʾakhkhir rāḥatī min balāʾī fa-fī al-ṭalabi wa-al-duʿāʾi tanfīsun,
If You hasten my relief, my joy is complete. If You delay my release from affliction, there is still respite in asking and praying,
وَإِذَا لَمْ تَنْسَانِي الْأَمَلَ فِيكَ وَلَمْ تَحْرِمْنِي مِنَ الشَّكْوَى إِلَيْكَ وَإِلْقَاءِ نَفْسِي بَيْنَ يَدَيْكَ مَعَ أَمَلِي.
Wa-ʾidhā lam tansānī al-ʾamala fīka wa-lam taḥrimnī mina al-shakwā ʾilayka wa-ʾilqāʾi nafsī bayna yadayka maʿa ʾamalī.
provided You do not make me forget hope in You [the printed verb is irregular], and do not deprive me of complaining to You and casting myself before You with my hope.
Source page 69
[تَذَكَّرْ أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا]
[Tadhakkar ʾanna Allāha yaghfiru al-dhunūba jamīʿan]
[Remember that God forgives all sins]
إِنَّ غَمِّي إِنْ عَقَلْتُ لَعَظِيمٌ، وَإِنَّهُ خِزْيِي شَدِيدٌ، وَإِنَّ كَرْبِي لَغَالِبٌ، إِذْ كُنْتُ أَعِيشُ بِالطَّلَبِ وَالْفَرَجُ لِي غَيْرُ مُعَجَّلٍ.
ʾInna ghammī ʾin ʿaqaltu laʿaẓīmun, wa-ʾinnahu khizyī shadīdun, wa-ʾinna karbī laghālibun, ʾidh kuntu ʾaʿīshu bi-al-ṭalabi wa-al-faraju lī ghayru muʿajjalin.
If I understand, my anguish is indeed immense, my disgrace severe, and my distress overwhelming, since I live by asking while relief for me is not hastened.
وَقَدْ رَأَيْتُ وَسَمِعْتُ، وَأَيْقَنْتُ وَأَدْرَكْتُ مَنْ قَدْ مَدَحْتَ عَنْهُ وَأَغَثْتَهُ، وَعَجَّلْتَ فَرَجَهُ، فَطَهَّرْتَهُ مِنَ الْأَدْنَاسِ، وَأَلْزَمْتَهُ الْإِشْفَاقَ وَالْحُبَّ لَكَ، وَالْحَنِينَ إِلَيْكَ.
Wa-qad raʾaytu wa-samiʿtu, wa-ʾayqantu wa-ʾadraktu man qad madaḥta ʿanhu wa-ʾaghathtahu, wa-ʿajjalta farajahu, fa-ṭahhartahu mina al-ʾadnāsi, wa-ʾalzamtahu al-ʾishfāqa wa-al-ḥubba laka, wa-al-ḥanīna ʾilayka.
I have seen and heard, become certain and recognized those about whom You have praised [the printed expression is uncertain], whom You have rescued and swiftly relieved, cleansing them of defilement and binding them to apprehension, love for You, and yearning toward You.
فَلَوْ تَقَطَّعَتْ كَبِدِي حَسَرَاتٍ لَكُنْتُ بِذَلِكَ حَقِيقِيًّا لِأَنِّي مُضْطَرٌّ مَجْهُودٌ، أَطْلُبُ فَلَا أُعْطَى،
Fa-law taqaṭṭaʿat kabidī ḥasarātin lakuntu bi-dhālika ḥaqīqiyyan li-ʾannī muḍṭarrun majhūdun, ʾaṭlubu fa-lā ʾuʿṭā,
If my liver were torn apart with regrets, I would be genuine in that [the printed adjective is unusual], for I am desperate and exhausted: I ask, but I am not given.
وَأَرَى مَا تَتَقَلَّبُ فِيهِ أَعْمَالُكَ مِنْ كَثْرَةِ الْأَيَادِي وَدَوَامِ الْإِحْسَانِ، وَلَا تُطَاوِعُنِي نَفْسِي أَنْ أُشَارِكَهُمْ فِي مَقَامَاتِهِمْ.
Wa-ʾarā mā tataqallabu fīhi ʾaʿmāluka min kathrati al-ʾayādī wa-dawāmi al-ʾiḥsāni, wa-lā tuṭāwiʿunī nafsī ʾan ʾushārikahum fī maqāmātihim.
I see the abundant favors and continual kindness amid which Your “deeds” move [printed thus, though the following pronouns refer to people], while my soul will not obey me in joining them in their stations.
وَإِنَّمَا أَسْأَلُ الَّذِي مَنَّ عَلَيْهِمْ بِذَلِكَ أَنْ تُشْرِكَنِي فِي التَّوْفِيقِ مَعَهُمْ.
Wa-ʾinnamā ʾasʾalu alladhī manna ʿalayhim bi-dhālika ʾan tushrikanī fī al-tawfīqi maʿahum.
I ask only the One who bestowed this upon them: that You include me with them in Your enabling grace.
فَطُوبَى لِعَبْدٍ أَغَثْتَهُ، فَطَهَّرْتَ مِنْ دَنَسِ الذُّنُوبِ قَلْبَهُ، وَأَلْزَمْتَهُ التَّعْظِيمَ لَكَ، وَحُسْنَ الدِّعَايَةِ لَكَ،
Fa-ṭūbā liʿabdin ʾaghathtahu, fa-ṭahharta min danasi al-dhunūbi qalbahu, wa-ʾalzamtahu al-taʿẓīma laka, wa-ḥusna al-diʿāyati laka,
Blessed is a servant You have rescued, whose heart You have cleansed of the stain of sins, whom You have bound to reverence for You and to calling others well toward You.
Source pages 69–70
وَمَنَنْتَ عَلَيْهِ بِصِدْقِ الْحُبِّ لَكَ وَشِدَّةِ الْحَنِينِ إِلَيْكَ، وَعِظَمِ الشَّوْقِ إِلَى لِقَائِكَ، مَعَ خَوْفٍ شَدِيدٍ وَحُزْنٍ طَوِيلٍ، وَالْوَجَلِ وَالشَّفَقِ مِمَّا مَضَى مِنْ تَفْرِيطِهِ، وَمَا سَلَفَ مِنْ ذُنُوبِهِ،
Wa-mananta ʿalayhi biṣidqi al-ḥubbi laka wa-shiddati al-ḥanīni ʾilayka, wa-ʿiẓami al-shawqi ʾilā liqāʾika, maʿa khawfin shadīdin wa-ḥuznin ṭawīlin, wa-al-wajali wa-al-shafaqi mimmā maḍā min tafrīṭihi, wa-mā salafa min dhunūbihi,
You have granted him sincere love for You, intense yearning toward You, and great longing to meet You, together with profound fear, prolonged grief, and apprehension and dread over his past negligence and former sins.
Source page 70
فَهُوَ يَسْتَحِنُّ إِلَيْكَ، وَيَأْنَسُ بِقُرْبِكَ، وَيَنْعَمُ بِمُنَاجَاتِكَ، وَهُوَ يَخَافُ أَنْ يُحَالَ بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ.
Fa-huwa yastaḥinnu ʾilayka, wa-yaʾnasu biqurbika, wa-yanʿamu bimunājātika, wa-huwa yakhāfu ʾan yuḥāla baynaka wa-baynahu.
He yearns toward You, finds intimacy in Your nearness, and delights in intimate prayer to You, while fearing that something may come between You and him.
فَقَدْ طَابَ فِي بَاقِي عُمُرِهِ عَيْشُهُ، [لَفْظٌ غَيْرُ وَاضِحٍ] مِنْ خَوْفِهِ وَرَغْبَتِهِ، وَحُبُّهُ وَخَشْيَتُهُ يَتَصَاعَدَانِ لَهُمْ، وَيَسْمُوَانِ بِوَهْمِهِ وَيَسْتَخْرِجَانِ مِنْهُ.
Fa-qad ṭāba fī bāqī ʿumurihi ʿayshuhu, [Lafẓun ghayru wāḍiḥin] min khawfihi wa-raghbatihi, wa-ḥubbuhu wa-khashyatuhu yataṣāʿadāni lahum, wa-yasmuwāni biwahmihi wa-yastakhrijāni minhu.
His life has become sweet for the remainder of his days, [unclear word] from his fear and desire. His love and awe rise “for them,” lift his imagination, and draw forth from him [the printed pronouns and construction are uncertain].
بَذَلْتُ الْمَجْهُودَ فِي التَّقَرُّبِ إِلَيْكَ، فَهَذَا مَنْ أَغَثْتَهُ بِلَا نَقْصٍ دَخَلَ عَلَيْكَ فِي مُلْكِكَ،
Badhaltu al-majhūda fī al-taqarrubi ʾilayka, fa-hādhā man ʾaghathtahu bilā naqṣin dakhala ʿalayka fī mulkika,
I have expended my utmost effort in drawing near to You [the reading provisionally shifts to first person here]. This is one whom You have rescued without any diminution entering Your dominion.
وَأَنَا قَدْ تَرَكْتَنِي فَقِيرًا مُحْتَاجًا، لَا تَنْقُصُكَ إِغَاثَتِي، فَعَجِّلْ فَرَجِي لِأَنَّ تَأْخِيرَ إِجَابَتِي يُحْزِنُنِي، وَلَا أَدْرِي مَتَى يَكُونُ فَرَجِي؟!
Wa-ʾanā qad taraktanī faqīran muḥtājan, lā tanquṣuka ʾighāthatī, fa-ʿajjil farajī li-ʾanna taʾkhīra ʾijābatī yuḥzinunī, wa-lā ʾadrī matā yakūnu farajī?!
But me You have left poor and needy. Rescuing me diminishes You in no way. Hasten my relief, for the delay in answering me grieves me, and I do not know when my relief will come.
أَنَا مَغْمُومٌ لِمَا مَضَى مِنْ إِعْرَاضٍ عَنْكَ، وَمَا يَكْسِرُ فُؤَادِي وَيَقْرَحُ قَلْبِي نَظَرِي إِلَى عُمَّالِكَ يَتَقَلَّبُونَ فِي كَرَامَتِكَ وَيَتَرَفَّعُونَ فِي مَوَاهِبِكَ،
ʾAnā maghmūmun limā maḍā min ʾiʿrāḍin ʿanka, wa-mā yaksiru fuʾādī wa-yaqraḥu qalbī naẓarī ʾilā ʿummālika yataqallabūna fī karāmatika wa-yataraffaʿūna fī mawāhibika,
I grieve over my past turning away from You. What breaks my spirit and wounds my heart is seeing those who labor for You moving amid Your honors and rising through Your gifts,
وَيَتَنَعَّمُونَ بِشِدَّةِ الْحَنِينِ إِلَيْكَ، عَنِ الدُّنْيَا مُعْرِضِينَ، وَلِعَالِي الْقُرْبِ مِنْكَ فِي طَلَبِهِ جَادِّينَ، غِنًى فِي نُفُوسِهِمْ عَمَّنْ سِوَاكَ، وَعِزٌّ بِكَ مِنَ الْعَبِيدِ.
Wa-yatanaʿʿamūna bishiddati al-ḥanīni ʾilayka, ʿani al-dunyā muʿriḍīna, wa-liʿālī al-qurbi minka fī ṭalabihi jāddīna, ghinan fī nufūsihim ʿamman siwāka, wa-ʿizzun bika mina al-ʿabīdi.
delighting in intense yearning for You, turning away from this world and earnestly seeking the highest nearness to You. Within their souls is freedom from need of anyone but You, and through You a dignity independent of Your servants.
فَأَنَا عَبْدُكَ كَمَا هُمْ عَبِيدُكَ، وَأَنَا فَقِيرٌ مُضْطَرٌّ كَمَا كَانُوا مُضْطَرِّينَ فِي سُوءِ الْحَالِ، فَصَفَحْتَ لَهُمْ عَنْ خَطَايَاهُمْ وَنَقَلْتَهُمْ عَنْ دَنَاءَةِ أَخْلَاقِهِمْ وَقَبِيحِ أَعْمَالِهِمْ.
Fa-ʾanā ʿabduka kamā hum ʿabīduka, wa-ʾanā faqīrun muḍṭarrun kamā kānū muḍṭarrīna fī sūʾi al-ḥāli, fa-ṣafaḥta lahum ʿan khaṭāyāhum wa-naqaltahum ʿan danāʾati ʾakhlāqihim wa-qabīḥi ʾaʿmālihim.
I am Your servant, just as they are Your servants. I am poor and desperate, as they once were in their sorry condition, before You pardoned their offenses and moved them away from their base character and ugly deeds.
فَأَلْحِقْ عُبَيْدَكَ الْفَقِيرَ الْمُحْتَاجَ بِعُمَّالِكَ الْأَقْوِيَاءِ، وَبِالرَّاجِعِينَ إِلَيْكَ الْمُنِيبِينَ، وَلَا تُؤَخِّرْ ذَلِكَ طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ، إِنَّمَا أَمْرُكَ إِذَا أَرَدْتَ شَيْئًا أَنْ تَقُولَ لَهُ كُنْ فَيَكُونُ.
Fa-ʾalḥiq ʿubaydaka al-faqīra al-muḥtāja biʿummālika al-ʾaqwiyāʾi, wa-bi-al-rājiʿīna ʾilayka al-munībīna, wa-lā tuʾakhkhir dhālika ṭarfata ʿaynin, ʾinnamā ʾamruka ʾidhā ʾaradta shayʾan ʾan taqūla lahu kun fa-yakūnu.
Join Your little servant, poor and needy, to Your strong laborers and to those who return penitently to You. Do not delay this even for the blink of an eye. Your command, when You desire a thing, is only to say to it, “Be,” and it is [a second-person adaptation of Qurʾān 36:82].
Source page 71
فَقُلْ لِلْخَوْفِ وَالْوَجَلِ وَالرَّهَبِ وَالشَّفَقِ أَنْ تَلْزَمَ قَلْبِي. وَلِلْحُبِّ لَكَ أَنْ يَعْلُوَ عَلَى جَمِيعِ هَمِّي،
Fa-qul li-al-khawfi wa-al-wajali wa-al-rahabi wa-al-shafaqi ʾan talzama qalbī. Wa-li-al-ḥubbi laka ʾan yaʿluwa ʿalā jamīʿi hammī,
Tell fear, apprehension, dread, and awe to stay in my heart; tell love for You to rise above every concern of mine.
وَلِجَوَارِحِي عَنْ تَدْأَبَ مُسَارِعَةً، وَهَوَايَ وَشَهَوَاتِي أَنْ تَمُوتَ خَاشِعَةً حَتَّى تُذِيقَنِي الْفَرَحَ بِنَعِيمِ الطَّاعَاتِ، وَاصِلًا بِنَعِيمِ الْأَبَدِ فِي جِوَارِكَ وَالنَّظَرِ إِلَى جَمَالِكَ.
Wa-lijawāriḥī ʿan tadʾaba musāriʿatan, wa-hawāya wa-shahawātī ʾan tamūta khāshiʿatan ḥattā tudhīqanī al-faraḥa binaʿīmi al-ṭāʿāti, wāṣilan binaʿīmi al-ʾabadi fī jiwārika wa-al-naẓari ʾilā jamālika.
And tell my limbs to labor eagerly [the printed connecting word is defective], and my caprice and desires to die in submission, until You let me taste joy in the bliss of obedience, joined to eternal bliss in Your presence and the sight of Your beauty.
يَا إِلَٰهِي، وَيَا رَبِّي، وَيَا مَوْضِعَ شَكْوَايَ وَمَفْزَعِي فِي هَمِّي، إِنَّمَا أَعِيشُ بِرَجَاءِ جُودِكَ،
Yā ʾilāhī, wa-yā rabbī, wa-yā mawḍiʿa shakwāya wa-mafzaʿī fī hammī, ʾinnamā ʾaʿīshu birajāʾi jūdika,
My God, my Lord, the One to whom I bring my complaint and flee in my anxiety: I live only through hope in Your bounty.
فَلَوْلَا ذَلِكَ لَخَشِيتُ أَنْ تَنْشَقَّ مَرَارَتِي، وَتَتَفَتَّتَ كَبِدِي كُلَّمَا ذَكَرْتُ جُرْأَتِي عَلَيْكَ، وَإِقْدَامِي عَلَى مَا نَهَيْتَنِي عَنْهُ، وَلَمْ يَكْسِرْنِي مَا عَرَّفْتَنِي مِنْ عَظِيمِ جَلَالِكَ.
Fa-lawlā dhālika lakhashītu ʾan tanshaqqa marāratī, wa-tatafattata kabidī kullamā dhakartu jurʾatī ʿalayka, wa-ʾiqdāmī ʿalā mā nahaytanī ʿanhu, wa-lam yaksirnī mā ʿarraftanī min ʿaẓīmi jalālika.
Without it I would fear my gallbladder bursting and my liver crumbling whenever I remembered my insolence toward You and my daring to do what You forbade, while the greatness of Your majesty that You made known to me did not humble me.
كَادَ الْإِيَاسُ أَنْ يُخَامِرَ عَقْلِي، وَضَاقَتْ عَلَيَّ الْأَرْضُ بِرُحْبِهَا، إِذْ كُنْتُ لَا آمَنُ أَنْ أَكُونَ انْقَلَبْتُ فِي عَيْنِكَ بِالْمَقْتِ وَالسَّخَطِ عَلَيَّ.
Kāda al-ʾiyāsu ʾan yukhāmira ʿaqlī, wa-ḍāqat ʿalayya al-ʾarḍu biruḥbihā, ʾidh kuntu lā ʾāmanu ʾan ʾakūna inqalabtu fī ʿaynika bi-al-maqti wa-al-sakhaṭi ʿalayya.
Despair has almost taken possession of my mind, and the earth, for all its breadth, has become narrow around me. I cannot feel secure against having changed in Your sight into an object of loathing and displeasure.
هَذَا خَوْفِي، مَعَ قَسْوَةِ قَلْبِي يَكَادُ عَقْلِي مَعَهُ يَطِيشُ. فَكَيْفَ إِنْ أَتَتْنِي رُسُلُكَ بِالْبُشْرَى بِذَلِكَ عِنْدَ الْمَوْتِ؟
Hādhā khawfī, maʿa qaswati qalbī yakādu ʿaqlī maʿahu yaṭīshu. Fa-kayfa ʾin ʾatatnī rusuluka bi-al-bushrā bi-dhālika ʿinda al-mawti?
This is my fear: even with my heart’s hardness, my mind almost reels under it. What, then, if Your messengers bring me news of this at death?
لَقَدْ تَحَقَّقَ إِذًا خَوْفِي، وَانْقَطَعَ رَجَائِي، وَبَطَلَ أَمَلِي، وَحَسَرَ قَلْبِي، وَعَظُمَتْ حَسْرَتِي وَنَدَمِي، وَلَا مُغِيثَ لِي وَلَا شَفِيعَ،
Laqad taḥaqqaqa ʾidhan khawfī, wa-inqaṭaʿa rajāʾī, wa-baṭala ʾamalī, wa-ḥasara qalbī, wa-ʿaẓumat ḥasratī wa-nadamī, wa-lā mughītha lī wa-lā shafīʿa,
Then my fear will have come true, my hope been cut off, my expectation come to nothing, and my heart grown exhausted. My regret and remorse will be immense, with no rescuer or intercessor for me.
وَلَا أُرَدُّ إِلَى الدُّنْيَا الَّتِي فِيهَا خَالَفْتُ أَمْرَكَ، فَأُطِيعَكَ وَأَتَحَرَّى رِضْوَانَكَ.
Wa-lā ʾuraddu ʾilā al-dunyā allatī fīhā khālaftu ʾamraka, fa-ʾuṭīʿaka wa-ʾataḥarrā riḍwānaka.
Nor will I be returned to the world in which I violated Your command, so that I might obey You and seek Your pleasure.
Source page 72
هَيْهَاتَ، لَا مَرْجِعَ وَلَا مُسْتَعْتَبَ، فَانْظُرْ إِلَيَّ بِرَحْمَةٍ لَا أَسْتَأْهِلُهَا، أَوْ بَادِرْنِي قَبْلَ حُلُولِ الْمَوْتِ بِتَوْبَةٍ تَرْضَاهَا فَإِنِّي أَرْجُوهَا،
Hayhāta, lā marjiʿa wa-lā mustaʿtaba, fa-unẓur ʾilayya biraḥmatin lā ʾastaʾhiluhā, ʾaw bādirnī qabla ḥulūli al-mawti bitawbatin tarḍāhā fa-ʾinnī ʾarjūhā,
Far from it! There is no return and no opportunity to seek reconciliation. Look upon me with a mercy I do not deserve, or meet me before death arrives with a repentance You approve, for that is what I hope for.
وَلَا آمَنُ أَنْ تَمُنَّ بِهَا عَلَيَّ، وَلَكِنْ أَطْمَعُ فِيكَ إِذَا وَهَبْتَ لِي مَعْرِفَتَكَ، وَلَمْ تَبْلُغْ بِي عُقُوبَتُكَ أَنْ تَسْلُبَنِي الْإِيمَانَ بِكَ، وَأَبْقَيْتَ لِيَ الطَّمَعَ فِيكَ،
Wa-lā ʾāmanu ʾan tamunna bihā ʿalayya, wa-lākin ʾaṭmaʿu fīka ʾidhā wahabta lī maʿrifataka, wa-lam tablugh bī ʿuqūbatuka ʾan taslubanī al-ʾīmāna bika, wa-ʾabqayta liya al-ṭamaʿa fīka,
I cannot be assured that You will grant it to me, yet I hope in You, since You have bestowed knowledge of You upon me. Your punishment has not reached the point of stripping me of faith in You, and You have left me hope in You.
فَبِالْجُودِ الَّذِي أَمْسَكْتَ عَنْ عُقُوبَتِي أَنْ يَنْقَطِعَ مِنْكَ أَمَلِي، أَلَا حَقَّقْتَ أَمَلِي، وَأَسْرَعْتَ بِفَرَجِي؟!
Fa-bi-al-jūdi alladhī ʾamsakta ʿan ʿuqūbatī ʾan yanqaṭiʿa minka ʾamalī, ʾalā ḥaqqaqta ʾamalī, wa-ʾasraʿta bifarajī?!
By the bounty through which You have refrained from punishing me with the loss of my hope in You, will You not fulfill my hope and hasten my relief?
Source page 73
[تَذَكَّرْ يَوْمَ الْحِسَابِ]
[Tadhakkar yawma al-ḥisābi]
[Remember the day of reckoning]
وَيْحَكِ يَا نَفْسُ، كَأَنَّكِ لَا تُؤْمِنِينَ بِيَوْمِ الْحِسَابِ، وَتَظُنِّينَ أَنَّكِ إِذَا مُتِّ انْفَلَتِّ وَتَخَلَّصْتِ، وَهَيْهَاتَ، أَتَحْسَبِينَ أَنَّكِ تُتْرَكِينَ سُدًى؟
Wayḥaki yā nafsu, ka-ʾannaki lā tuʾminīna biyawmi al-ḥisābi, wa-taẓunnīna ʾannaki ʾidhā mutti infalatti wa-takhallaṣti, wa-hayhāta, ʾataḥsabīna ʾannaki tutrakīna sudan?
Alas for you, my soul! It is as though you did not believe in the day of reckoning, imagining that once you die you will escape and be free. Far from it! Do you think you will be left unaccountable?
أَلَمْ تَكُونِي نُطْفَةً مِنْ مَنِيٍّ مُنِيَ ثُمَّ عَلَقَةً فَخَلَقَ فَسَوَّى، أَلَيْسَ ذَلِكَ بِقَادِرٍ عَلَى أَنْ يُحْيِيَ الْمَوْتَى؟ فَإِنْ كَانَ هَذَا مِنْ إِظْهَارِكِ فَمَا أَكْفَرَكِ وَأَجْهَلَكِ!
ʾAlam takūnī nuṭfatan min maniyyin muniya thumma ʿalaqatan fa-khalaqa fa-sawwā, ʾalaysa dhālika biqādirin ʿalā ʾan yuḥyiya al-mawtā? Fa-ʾin kāna hādhā min ʾiẓhāriki fa-mā ʾakfaraki wa-ʾajhalaki!
Were you not a drop of semen emitted, then a clinging clot, and He created and formed [you]? Is He not able to give life to the dead? [The wording adapts Qurʾān 75:37–40; the printed مني differs from يُمنى.] If this is what you openly display, how unbelieving and ignorant you are!
أَمَا تَتَفَكَّرِينَ أَنَّهُ مِمَّاذَا خَلَقَكِ؟ مِنْ نُطْفَةٍ خَلَقَكِ فَقَدَّرَكِ، ثُمَّ السَّبِيلَ يَسَّرَكِ، ثُمَّ أَمَاتَكِ فَأَقْبَرَكِ، أَتُكَذِّبِينَهُ فِي قَوْلِهِ: «ثُمَّ إِذَا شَاءَ أَنْشَرَهُ»
ʾAmā tatafakkarīna ʾannahu mimmādhā khalaqaki? Min nuṭfatin khalaqaki fa-qaddaraki, thumma al-sabīla yassaraki, thumma ʾamātaki fa-ʾaqbaraki, ʾatukadhdhibīnahu fī qawlihi: «Thumma ʾidhā shāʾa ʾansharahu»
Do you not reflect on what He created you from? From a drop He created and proportioned you, then made your way easy, then caused you to die and be buried [an adaptation of Qurʾān 80:18–21, with irregular wording]. Do you deny His statement, “Then, when He wills, He raises him”?
فَإِنْ لَمْ تَكُونِي مُكَذِّبَةً، فَمَا لَكِ لَا تَأْخُذِينَ حِذْرَكِ؟ وَلَوْ أَنَّ يَهُودِيًّا أَخْبَرَكِ فِي أَلَذِّ أَطْعِمَتِكِ بِأَنَّهُ يَضُرُّكِ فِي مَرَضِكِ، لَصَبَرْتِ عَنْهُ وَتَرَكْتِهِ، وَجَاهَدْتِ نَفْسَكِ فِيهِ،
Fa-ʾin lam takūnī mukadhdhibatan, fa-mā laki lā taʾkhudhīna ḥidhraki? Wa-law ʾanna yahūdiyyan ʾakhbaraki fī ʾaladhdhi ʾaṭʿimatiki bi-ʾannahu yaḍurruki fī maraḍiki, laṣabarti ʿanhu wa-taraktihi, wa-jāhadti nafsaki fīhi,
If you do not deny Him, why do you not take precautions? If a Jew told you that your most delicious food would harm you in your illness, you would restrain yourself, leave it, and struggle against your appetite for it.
أَفَكَانَ قَوْلُ الْأَنْبِيَاءِ عِنْدَكِ أَقَلَّ تَأْثِيرًا مِنْ قَوْلِ يَهُودِيٍّ؟ أَمَا تَعْلَمِينَ يَا نَفْسِي أَنَّ الْمَوْتَ مَوْعِدُكِ، وَالْقَبْرَ بَيْتُكِ وَالتُّرَابَ فِرَاشُكِ، وَالدُّودَ أَنِيسُكِ، وَالْفَزَعَ الْأَكْبَرَ بَيْنَ يَدَيْكِ؟
ʾAfakāna qawlu al-ʾanbiyāʾi ʿindaki ʾaqalla taʾthīran min qawli yahūdiyyin? ʾAmā taʿlamīna yā nafsī ʾanna al-mawta mawʿiduki, wa-al-qabra baytuki wa-al-turāba firāshuki, wa-al-dūda ʾanīsuki, wa-al-fazaʿa al-ʾakbara bayna yadayki?
Have the prophets’ words had less effect upon you than a Jew’s words? Do you not know, my soul, that death is your appointment, the grave your home, earth your bedding, worms your companions, and the greatest terror before you?
Source page 74
فَاحْذَرِي يَا نَفْسِي يَوْمًا آلَى اللَّهُ مِنْهُ عَلَى نَفْسِهِ أَنْ لَا يَتْرُكَ عَبْدًا فِي الدُّنْيَا وَنَهَاهُ حَتَّى يَسْأَلَهُ عَنْ عَمَلِهِ، دَقِيقِهِ وَجَلِيلِهِ، سِرِّهِ وَعَلَانِيَتِهِ.
Fa-iḥdharī yā nafsī yawman ʾālā Allāhu minhu ʿalā nafsihi ʾan lā yatruka ʿabdan fī al-dunyā wa-nahāhu ḥattā yasʾalahu ʿan ʿamalihi, daqīqihi wa-jalīlihi, sirrihi wa-ʿalāniyatihi.
Beware, my soul, of a day concerning which God has sworn by Himself not to leave a servant in this world whom He has forbidden [the printed clause is incomplete in sense] without asking him about his deeds, small and great, secret and public.
فَانْظُرِي يَا نَفْسُ بِأَيِّ بَدَنٍ تَقِفِينَ بَيْنَ يَدَيِ اللَّهِ، وَبِأَيِّ لِسَانٍ تُجِيبِينَ، وَأَعِدِّي لِلسُّؤَالِ جَوَابًا، وَلِلْجَوَابِ صَوَابًا،
Fa-unẓurī yā nafsu bi-ʾayyi badanin taqifīna bayna yadayi Allāhi, wa-bi-ʾayyi lisānin tujībīna, wa-ʾaʿiddī li-al-suʾāli jawāban, wa-li-al-jawābi ṣawāban,
Consider, my soul, with what body you will stand before God and with what tongue you will answer. Prepare an answer for the question, and correctness for the answer.
وَاعْمَلِي بَقِيَّةَ عُمُرِكِ فِي أَيَّامٍ قِصَارٍ لِأَيَّامٍ طِوَالٍ، وَفِي دَارِ زَوَالٍ لِدَارِ مُقَامَةٍ، وَفِي دَارِ حُزْنٍ وَنَصَبٍ لِدَارِ نَعِيمٍ وَخُلُودٍ،
Wa-iʿmalī baqiyyata ʿumuriki fī ʾayyāmin qiṣārin li-ʾayyāmin ṭiwālin, wa-fī dāri zawālin lidāri muqāmatin, wa-fī dāri ḥuznin wa-naṣabin lidāri naʿīmin wa-khulūdin,
Work for the remainder of your life: in short days for long days, in a passing abode for an enduring abode, and in an abode of grief and toil for an abode of bliss and eternity.
اعْمَلِي قَبْلَ أَنْ تُعْمَلِي، اخْرُجِي مِنَ الدُّنْيَا اخْتِيَارًا خُرُوجَ الْأَحْرَارِ قَبْلَ أَنْ تَخْرُجِي مِنْهَا عَلَى الِاضْطِرَارِ،
Iʿmalī qabla ʾan tuʿmalī, ukhrujī mina al-dunyā ikhtiyāran khurūja al-ʾaḥrāri qabla ʾan takhrujī minhā ʿalā al-iḍṭirāri,
Act before you are made to act [the repeated printed verb is uncertain in sense]. Leave this world willingly, as free people leave, before you depart it under compulsion.
وَلَا تَفْرَحِي بِمَا يُسَاعِدُكِ مِنْ زَهَرَاتِ الدُّنْيَا، فَرُبَّ مَسْرُورٍ مَغْبُونٍ، وَرُبَّ مَغْبُونٍ لَا يَشْعُرُ.
Wa-lā tafraḥī bimā yusāʿiduki min zaharāti al-dunyā, fa-rubba masrūrin maghbūnin, wa-rubba maghbūnin lā yashʿuru.
Do not rejoice in the worldly blossoms that favor you. Many a cheerful person has suffered loss, and many who have suffered loss do not perceive it.
فَوَيْلٌ لِمَنْ لَهُ الْوَيْلُ ثُمَّ لَا يَشْعُرُ، يَضْحَكُ وَيَفْرَحُ وَيَلْهُو وَيَمْرَحُ، وَيَأْكُلُ وَيَشْرَبُ، قَدْ حَقَّ لَهُ فِي كِتَابِ اللَّهِ أَنَّهُ مِنْ وَقُودِ النَّارِ.
Fa-waylun liman lahu al-waylu thumma lā yashʿuru, yaḍḥaku wa-yafraḥu wa-yalhū wa-yamraḥu, wa-yaʾkulu wa-yashrabu, qad ḥaqqa lahu fī kitābi Allāhi ʾannahu min waqūdi al-nāri.
Woe to one for whom woe is due yet who does not perceive it: laughing, rejoicing, playing, exulting, eating, and drinking, while it has already been established against him in God’s book that he is fuel for the Fire.
فَلْيَكُنْ نَظَرُكِ يَا نَفْسُ إِلَى الدُّنْيَا اعْتِبَارًا، أَوْ سَعْيُكِ لَهَا اضْطِرَارًا، وَفَضْلُكِ لَهَا اخْتِيَارًا، وَطَلَبُكِ لِلْآخِرَةِ ابْتِدَارًا،
Fa-l-yakun naẓaruki yā nafsu ʾilā al-dunyā iʿtibāran, ʾaw saʿyuki lahā iḍṭirāran, wa-faḍluki lahā ikhtiyāran, wa-ṭalabuki li-al-ʾākhirati ibtidāran,
Let your view of this world, my soul, be a means of learning, or your striving for it a matter of necessity, your favoring it a matter of choice [the printed clause is uncertain], and your pursuit of the hereafter a haste toward it.
وَلَا تَكُونِي مِمَّنْ يَعْجِزُ عَنْ شُكْرِ مَا أُوتِيَ، وَيَبْتَغِي الزِّيَادَةَ فِيمَا بَقِيَ وَيَنْهَى النَّاسَ وَلَا يَنْتَهِي.
Wa-lā takūnī mimman yaʿjizu ʿan shukri mā ʾūtiya, wa-yabtaghī al-ziyādata fīmā baqiya wa-yanhā al-nāsa wa-lā yantahī.
Do not be one who fails to give thanks for what he has received, seeks still more of what remains, and forbids others without desisting himself.
Source pages 74–75
وَيْحَكِ عَمَّا بِدَاخِلِكِ، غَدًا بَيْنَ يَدَيْ مَوْلَاكِ، فَلَا تَغْرُبِي عَنْهُ صَفْحًا، وَلَا تَتَشَاغَلِي عَنْ ذِكْرِهِ،
Wayḥaki ʿammā bidākhiliki, ghadan bayna yaday mawlāki, fa-lā taghrubī ʿanhu ṣafḥan, wa-lā tatashāghalī ʿan dhikrihi,
Alas for you, for what is within you, tomorrow before your Master [the printed transition is abrupt]. Do not turn away from Him or busy yourself away from remembering Him.
Source page 75
وَلَا تَدَعِي الْعُدَّةَ بِتَهْيِئَةِ الْجَوَابِ لَهُ بِصِدْقِ مَا كُنْتِ عَلَيْهِ فِي الدُّنْيَا، فَلَأَنْ يَحْيَى بِالصِّدْقِ أَرْفَهُ لِقَلْبِكِ مِنْ أَنْ تَحْيَيْ بِالْكَذِبِ.
Wa-lā tadaʿī al-ʿuddata bitahyiʾati al-jawābi lahu biṣidqi mā kunti ʿalayhi fī al-dunyā, fa-laʾan yaḥyā bi-al-ṣidqi ʾarfahu liqalbiki min ʾan taḥyay bi-al-kadhibi.
Do not abandon preparation: make ready a truthful answer to Him about how you lived in this world. Living truthfully is easier for your heart than your living falsely [the source shifts grammatical person].
وَاللَّهِ مَا قَامَتِ الْعُقُولُ مِنَ الصَّادِقِينَ عِنْدَ جَوَابِهِ حَتَّى ذَهِلَتْ، ثُمَّ رَدَّهَا إِلَيْهِمْ لِإِقَامَةِ الْحُجَّةِ عَلَى الْمَسْخُوطِ عَلَيْهِمْ أَنْ يُدْخِلَهُمْ فِي عَذَابِهِ وَهُمْ لَهُ عَاذِرُونَ،
Wa-Allāhi mā qāmati al-ʿuqūlu mina al-ṣādiqīna ʿinda jawābihi ḥattā dhahilat, thumma raddahā ʾilayhim li-ʾiqāmati al-ḥujjati ʿalā al-maskhūṭi ʿalayhim ʾan yudkhilahum fī ʿadhābihi wa-hum lahu ʿādhirūna,
By God, even the minds of the truthful do not hold firm when answering Him; they become bewildered. Then He restores their minds to them, to establish the case against those under His displeasure, so that He may admit them to His punishment while they acknowledge His justification,
وَلِأَنْفُسِهِمْ لَائِمُونَ إِذْ قَدَّرَهُمْ عَمَّا ضَيَّعُوا مِنْ حَقِّهِ، وَاجْتَرَؤُوا عَلَيْهِ فِي رُكُوبِ نَهْيِهِ،
Wa-li-ʾanfusihim lāʾimūna ʾidh qaddarahum ʿammā ḍayyaʿū min ḥaqqihi, wa-ijtaraʾū ʿalayhi fī rukūbi nahyihi,
and blame themselves, as He assesses them for what they neglected of His right and their insolence in committing what He forbade [the printed verb and preposition are uncertain].
وَلِيَسْتَخْرِجَ مِنَ الصَّادِقِينَ صِدْقَ الْجَوَابِ فَيَقْبَلَهُ مِنْهُمْ، وَيُؤْمِنَهُمْ مَا كَانُوا بِهِ خَائِفِينَ، وَيَسُرَّهُمْ بِقَبُولِهِ مِنْهُمْ عِوَضًا مِمَّا كَانُوا فِي الدُّنْيَا مِنْ رَدِّهِ مُشْفِقِينَ،
Wa-liyastakhrija mina al-ṣādiqīna ṣidqa al-jawābi fa-yaqbalahu minhum, wa-yuʾminahum mā kānū bihi khāʾifīna, wa-yasurrahum biqabūlihi minhum ʿiwaḍan mimmā kānū fī al-dunyā min raddihi mushfiqīna,
And [He restores their minds] to draw a truthful answer from the truthful, accept it from them, give them security from what they feared, and gladden them by accepting it in recompense for their apprehension in this world that He might reject it.
وَلَكِنْ لَا بُدَّ إِذَا أَرَادُوا أَنْ يَقْرَؤُوا كُتُبَهُمْ، وَيَبْتَدِئَ اللَّهُ فِي مَسْأَلَتِهِمْ أَنْ تَرْهَقَهُمُ الْهَيْبَةُ الْعُظْمَى، وَالْمَخَافَةُ الْكُبْرَى.
Wa-lākin lā budda ʾidhā ʾarādū ʾan yaqraʾū kutubahum, wa-yabtadiʾa Allāhu fī masʾalatihim ʾan tarhaqahumu al-haybatu al-ʿuẓmā, wa-al-makhāfatu al-kubrā.
Yet when they are about to read their records and God begins questioning them, overwhelming awe and immense fear must come upon them.
هَذَا ابْنُ مَرْيَمَ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ يَقُولُ لَهُ الْجَلِيلُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ: «… أَأَنْتَ قُلْتَ لِلنَّاسِ اتَّخِذُونِي وَأُمِّيَ إِلَٰهَيْنِ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ…».
Hādhā ibnu Maryama ʿalayhi al-salāmu yaqūlu lahu al-jalīlu yawma al-qiyāmati: «… ʾAʾanta qulta li-al-nāsi ittakhidhūnī wa-ʾummiya ʾilāhayni min dūni Allāhi…».
Here is the son of Mary, peace be upon him, to whom the Majestic One says on the Day of Resurrection: “… Was it you who told people, ‘Take me and my mother as two gods besides God’…?”
فَرُوِيَ فِي الْحَدِيثِ أَنَّهُ يَزُولُ كُلُّ مَفْصِلٍ مِنْهُ عَلَى حِيَالِهِ، وَمِمَّا يَدُلُّ عَلَى صِدْقِ الْحَدِيثِ فِي ذَلِكَ، قَوْلُهُ: «إِنْ كُنْتُ قُلْتُهُ فَقَدْ عَلِمْتَهُ».
Fa-ruwiya fī al-ḥadīthi ʾannahu yazūlu kullu mafṣilin minhu ʿalā ḥiyālihi, wa-mimmā yadullu ʿalā ṣidqi al-ḥadīthi fī dhālika, qawluhu: «ʾIn kuntu qultuhu fa-qad ʿalimtahu».
It is related in a report that every joint of his moves out of place on its own. Among the things indicating, [according to this work,] the truth of that report is his statement, “If I had said it, You would have known it.”
Source pages 75–76
هَذَا جَوَابُ ذَاهِلٍ، لَا يَدْرِي مَا يُجِيبُ، قَالَ أَبُو مَيْسَرَةَ: لَمْ يَدْرِ لَعَلَّهُ قَالَهُ، فَقَالَ: «إِنْ كُنْتُ قُلْتُهُ فَقَدْ عَلِمْتَهُ»
Hādhā jawābu dhāhilin, lā yadrī mā yujību, qāla ʾAbū Maysarata: lam yadri laʿallahu qālahu, fa-qāla: «ʾIn kuntu qultuhu fa-qad ʿalimtahu»
This is the answer of someone bewildered, who does not know what to reply. Abū Maysara said: He did not know; perhaps he had said it. So he said, “If I had said it, You would have known it.”
Source page 76
ثُمَّ بَدَا إِلَيْهِ عَقْلُهُ، فَقَالَ: «مَا قُلْتُ لَهُمْ إِلَّا مَا أَمَرْتَنِي بِهِ».
Thumma badā ʾilayhi ʿaqluhu, fa-qāla: «Mā qultu lahum ʾillā mā ʾamartanī bihi».
Then his understanding appeared to him, and he said, “I said to them only what You commanded me.”
وَهَذِهِ جَمَاعَةُ الرُّسُلِ تَقُولُ: «مَاذَا أُجِبْتُمْ»، فَيَقُولُونَ: «لَا عِلْمَ لَنَا إِنَّكَ عَلَّامُ الْغُيُوبِ».
Wa-hādhihi jamāʿatu al-rusuli taqūlu: «Mādhā ʾujibtum», fa-yaqūlūna: «Lā ʿilma lanā ʾinnaka ʿallāmu al-ghuyūbi».
And here is the company of messengers saying, “What response did you receive?” [The source’s attribution is irregular; in Qurʾān 5:109 God asks this.] They answer, “We have no knowledge. You know all unseen things” [the source omits the Qurʾānic أنت].
فَيَا نَفْسُ وَيْحَكِ، اعْمَلِي عَلَى أَنَّهُ قَدْ رَحِمَ شَكْوَاكِ فَيَنْقُلَكِ عَنْ بَلَائِكِ، أَيْنَ تُوَارِينَ مَا دُمْتِ فِي الدُّنْيَا مِنْ نَظَرِهِ، مَعَ مَا يَعْلَمُ مِنْ قَبَائِحِكِ الَّتِي سَلَفَتْ مِنْكِ؟
Fa-yā nafsu wayḥaki, iʿmalī ʿalā ʾannahu qad raḥima shakwāki fa-yanqulaki ʿan balāʾiki, ʾayna tuwārīna mā dumti fī al-dunyā min naẓarihi, maʿa mā yaʿlamu min qabāʾiḥiki allatī salafat minki?
My soul, alas for you! Act on the hope that He has shown mercy to your complaint and may remove you from your affliction. Where can you hide from His gaze as long as you remain in this world, given what He knows of the ugly deeds you have already committed?
وَأَيْنَ تَزُوغِينَ وَأَيْنَ تَحِيدِينَ غَدًا عَنِ الْعَرْضِ عَلَيْهِ، وَقِرَاءَةِ جَمِيعِ مَسَاوِئِكِ، وَاسْتِمَاعِ كَلَامِكِ بِذِكْرِ فَضَائِحِكِ؟
Wa-ʾayna tazūghīna wa-ʾayna taḥīdīna ghadan ʿani al-ʿarḍi ʿalayhi, wa-qirāʾati jamīʿi masāwiʾiki, wa-istimāʿi kalāmiki bidhikri faḍāʾiḥiki?
Where will you swerve and where turn aside tomorrow from being presented before Him, from reading all your wrongs, and from hearing your own words recounting your disgrace?
وَيْحَكِ، فَلَا تَعِيشِي فِي الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا بِحَمْدِهِ، وَلَا تَنْتَقِلِي فِي أَحْوَالِكِ إِلَّا حَسْرَةً، وَلَا تُصْبِحِي وَلَا تُمْسِي إِلَّا خَجِلَةً
Wayḥaki, fa-lā taʿīshī fī al-dunyā ʾillā biḥamdihi, wa-lā tantaqilī fī ʾaḥwāliki ʾillā ḥasratan, wa-lā tuṣbiḥī wa-lā tumsī ʾillā khajilatan
Alas for you! Live in this world only in His praise; pass from state to state only in regret; let neither morning nor evening find you without shame,
مِنْ تَوَقُّعِكِ لِلْمُنْقَلَبِ إِلَى الْوُقُوفِ بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ، وَالسُّؤَالِ مِنْهُ إِلَيْكِ مَعَ وَاللَّهِ أَحْوَالِكِ قَبْلَ السُّؤَالِ مِنْهُ فِي يَوْمِ النُّشُورِ.
Min tawaqquʿiki li-al-munqalabi ʾilā al-wuqūfi bayna yadayhi, wa-al-suʾāli minhu ʾilayki maʿa wa-Allāhi ʾaḥwāliki qabla al-suʾāli minhu fī yawmi al-nushūri.
as you anticipate your return to stand before Him and His questioning you, together with, by God, the states you will experience before His questioning on the Day of Resurrection.
فَأَيْنَ قَلْبُكِ حِينَئِذٍ يَا جَاهِلُ؟ وَأَيْنَ فُؤَادُكِ يَا غَافِلُ؟
Fa-ʾayna qalbuki ḥīnaʾidhin yā jāhilu? Wa-ʾayna fuʾāduki yā ghāfilu?
Where will your heart be then, you ignorant one? Where will your inmost heart be, you heedless one?
لَوْ يَقَعُ الْمُنَى أَنْ لَا تَكُونِي مِنَ الْمَخْلُوقِينَ، أَوْ إِذَا كُنْتِ خُلِقْتِ أَنْ لَا تَكُونِي مِنَ الْمَبْعُوثِينَ لَكُنْتِ إِلَى ذَلِكَ تَرُوحِينَ وَإِلَيْهِ تَفْزَعِينَ.
Law yaqaʿu al-munā ʾan lā takūnī mina al-makhlūqīna, ʾaw ʾidhā kunti khuliqti ʾan lā takūnī mina al-mabʿūthīna lakunti ʾilā dhālika tarūḥīna wa-ʾilayhi tafzaʿīna.
If the wish could come true that you were not among the created, or, having been created, that you were not among those raised again, you would turn toward that and seek refuge in it.
Source page 77
وَلَكِنْ هَيْهَاتَ قَدْ كُتِبَ عَلَيْكِ مَا عَصَيْتِ، وَأَحْصَى عَلَيْكِ مَا عَصَيْتِ، وَأَحْصَى عَلَيْكِ عِصْيَانَكِ فَلَا يُنْسَى، وَكُتِبَ فَلَا يُمْحَى،
Wa-lākin hayhāta qad kutiba ʿalayki mā ʿaṣayti, wa-ʾaḥṣā ʿalayki mā ʿaṣayti, wa-ʾaḥṣā ʿalayki ʿiṣyānaki fa-lā yunsā, wa-kutiba fa-lā yumḥā,
But far from it! What you disobeyed has been recorded against you; He has counted against you what you disobeyed. He has counted your disobedience against you, so it will not be forgotten; it has been recorded and will not be erased.
وَأَنْتِ تَعِينَ أَنَّ الْمَلِكَ الْأَعْلَى عَارِفٌ بِمَا كَانَ مِنْكِ مِنَ الْبَلَايَا، ثُمَّ الْمَصِيرُ إِلَيْهِ لَا شَكَّ فِيهِ،
Wa-ʾanti taʿīna ʾanna al-malika al-ʾaʿlā ʿārifun bimā kāna minki mina al-balāyā, thumma al-maṣīru ʾilayhi lā shakka fīhi,
You understand that the Supreme King knows the evils that have come from you. Then comes the return to Him, about which there is no doubt.
ثُمَّ الْأَهْوَالُ، مَا لَا تَقُومُ لَهُ السَّمَاوَاتُ وَلَا الْجِبَالُ الصُّمُّ الشَّوَامِخُ فِي الْوَرَى، وَالْعَرْضُ عَلَى ذِي الْعِزِّ وَالْكِبْرِيَاءِ،
Thumma al-ʾahwālu, mā lā taqūmu lahu al-samāwātu wa-lā al-jibālu al-ṣummu al-shawāmikhu fī al-warā, wa-al-ʿarḍu ʿalā dhī al-ʿizzi wa-al-kibriyāʾi,
Then come terrors that neither the heavens nor the solid mountains towering over creation can withstand, and presentation before the Possessor of might and majesty.
ثُمَّ لَعَلَّ الِانْصِرَافَ مِنْ بَيْنِ يَدَيِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ مَعَ الْأَشْقِيَاءِ إِلَى الْعَذَابِ حَارَ فِي الْوَصْفِ، أَنْ يُحَدَّ شِدَّتُهُ، وَأَنْ يُعْلَمَ أَلَمُهُ،
Thumma laʿalla al-inṣirāfa min bayni yadayi Allāhi ʿazza wa-jalla maʿa al-ʾashqiyāʾi ʾilā al-ʿadhābi ḥāra fī al-waṣfi, ʾan yuḥadda shiddatuhu, wa-ʾan yuʿlama ʾalamuhu,
Then perhaps comes departing from before God, mighty and majestic, with the wretched, toward a punishment that leaves description bewildered: how its severity can be defined and its pain known,
وَأَنْ يُعْلَمَ شِدَّةُ حُرْقَتِهِ لِلْقُلُوبِ مَعَ الْغَمِّ الَّذِي لَا يُحَدُّ وَالْحُزْنِ الَّذِي لَا يُسْتَطَاعُ أَنْ يُوصَفَ.
Wa-ʾan yuʿlama shiddatu ḥurqatihi li-al-qulūbi maʿa al-ghammi alladhī lā yuḥaddu wa-al-ḥuzni alladhī lā yustaṭāʿu ʾan yūṣafa.
and how its fierce burning of hearts can be understood, together with anguish that has no measure and grief that cannot be described.
ثُمَّ السَّحَرَةُ اجْتَمَعُوا لِيَغْلِبُوا كَلِمَكَ بِسِحْرِهِمْ، إِنْ غَلَبُوهُ أَنْ يَجْعَلَهُمْ أَجْرًا مِنْ مُلْكِهِ، وَزُلْفَةً لَدَيْهِ
Thumma al-saḥaratu ijtamaʿū liyaghlibū kalimaka bisiḥrihim, ʾin ghalabūhu ʾan yajʿalahum ʾajran min mulkihi, wa-zulfatan ladayhi
Then the sorcerers gathered to overcome Your speech with their sorcery, if they overcame it [the referent of the printed كلمك is uncertain], that he [Pharaoh] might make them a reward from his kingdom and nearness to himself [the printed construction is incomplete and uncertain].
فَمَا مَنَعَكَ ذَلِكَ مِنْ مَقَامِهِمْ ذَلِكَ فِي عَقِبِ كُفْرِهِمْ وَحَلِفِهِمْ بِعِزَّةِ فِرْعَوْنَ إِلَٰهًا اتَّخَذُوهُ مِنْ دُونِكَ،
Fa-mā manaʿaka dhālika min maqāmihim dhālika fī ʿaqibi kufrihim wa-ḥalifihim biʿizzati Firʿawna ʾilāhan ittakhadhūhu min dūnika,
Yet this did not prevent You, in that very situation immediately after their unbelief and their swearing by the might of Pharaoh, whom they had taken as a god besides You,
إِنْ عَطَفْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ بِرَحْمَتِكَ، وَتَفَضَّلْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ بِكَرَمِكَ، وَتَحَنَّنْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ بِجُودِكَ فَبَصَّرْتَهُمْ جَهْلَهُمْ وَعَرَّفْتَهُمْ ظُلْمَهُمْ أَنْفُسَهُمْ،
ʾIn ʿaṭafta ʿalayhim biraḥmatika, wa-tafaḍḍalta ʿalayhim bikaramika, wa-taḥannanta ʿalayhim bijūdika fa-baṣṣartahum jahlahum wa-ʿarraftahum ẓulmahum ʾanfusahum,
from turning toward them in Your mercy, graciously favoring them through Your generosity, and showing them tenderness through Your bounty. You made them see their ignorance and recognize the wrong they had done themselves [the printed conditional connection is irregular].
وَأَلْزَمْتَهُمُ الْإِقْرَارَ بِرُبُوبِيَّتِكَ وَالْإِخْلَاصَ لِعَظَمَتِكَ، وَعَرَّفْتَهُمْ صِغَرَ فِرْعَوْنَ وَضَعْفَهُ، وَصَفَدْتَ الدُّنْيَا فِي قُلُوبِهِمْ،
Wa-ʾalzamtahumu al-ʾiqrāra birubūbiyyatika wa-al-ʾikhlāṣa liʿaẓamatika, wa-ʿarraftahum ṣighara Firʿawna wa-ḍaʿfahu, wa-ṣafadta al-dunyā fī qulūbihim,
You bound them to acknowledgment of Your lordship and sincere devotion to Your greatness. You made them recognize Pharaoh’s insignificance and weakness, and fettered this world within their hearts.
Source pages 77–78
وَهَوَّنْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ قَطْعَ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَأَرْجُلِهِمْ فِي مَرْضَاتِكَ، وَالصَّبْرَ عَلَى الْإِيمَانِ بِكَ، وَهَوَّنْتَ لَهُمْ رَحَى جَنَّتِكَ، وَأَلْزَمْتَ قُلُوبَهُمْ خَوْفَ عَذَابِكَ،
Wa-hawwanta ʿalayhim qaṭʿa ʾaydīhim wa-ʾarjulihim fī marḍātika, wa-al-ṣabra ʿalā al-ʾīmāni bika, wa-hawwanta lahum raḥā jannatika, wa-ʾalzamta qulūbahum khawfa ʿadhābika,
You made it easy for them to endure the cutting off of their hands and feet for Your pleasure and to persevere in faith in You. You made easy for them “the millstone of Your Garden” [the printed expression is unclear] and bound their hearts to fear of Your punishment,
Source page 78
حَتَّى نَطَقُوا بِكَ فِي مَقَامِهِمْ، كَأَنَّهُمْ قَدْ مَرَّتْ بِهِمُ الدُّهُورُ فِي طَاعَتِكَ، وَدِرَاسَةِ الْعِلْمِ مِنْ كُتُبِكَ.
Ḥattā naṭaqū bika fī maqāmihim, ka-ʾannahum qad marrat bihimu al-duhūru fī ṭāʿatika, wa-dirāsati al-ʿilmi min kutubika.
until they spoke of You where they stood as though ages had passed over them in obeying You and studying knowledge from Your books.
ثُمَّ عَرَّفْتَهُمْ أَنَّ مَا مَنَنْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ الْإِيمَانِ بِكَ لَا يَتِمُّ إِلَّا بِكَ، وَأَنَّ مَا تَهَدَّدَهُمْ فِرْعَوْنُ بِهِ مِنْ قَتْلِهِمْ وَصَلْبِهِمْ لَا يَسْتَطِيعُونَ الصَّبْرَ عَلَيْهِ إِلَّا مِنْكَ، وَتَوْفِيقِكَ،
Thumma ʿarraftahum ʾanna mā mananta ʿalayhim mina al-ʾīmāni bika lā yatimmu ʾillā bika, wa-ʾanna mā tahaddadahum Firʿawnu bihi min qatlihim wa-ṣalbihim lā yastaṭīʿūna al-ṣabra ʿalayhi ʾillā minka, wa-tawfīqika,
Then You made them know that the faith in You which You had bestowed could be completed only through You, and that they could not endure Pharaoh’s threats of killing and crucifying them except through You and Your enabling grace.
وَأَيْقَظْتَهُمْ أَنْ نَاجَوْكَ بِذَلِكَ عَمَّا عَرَّفْتَهُمْ مِنْ حَاجَتِهِمْ إِلَى عَفْوِكَ وَتَأْيِيدِكَ. فَقَالُوا: «… رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًا وَتَوَفَّنَا مُسْلِمِينَ».
Wa-ʾayqaẓtahum ʾan nājawka bi-dhālika ʿammā ʿarraftahum min ḥājatihim ʾilā ʿafwika wa-taʾyīdika. Fa-qālū: «… Rabbanā ʾafrigh ʿalaynā ṣabran wa-tawaffanā muslimīna».
You awakened them to pray intimately to You about this, from what You had made them know of their need for Your pardon and support. They said, “… Our Lord, pour patience upon us and take us in death as those who submit to You.”
فَيَا مَنْ لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ، وَيَا قَدِيمَ الْأَحَدِ ثُمَّ سِوَاهُ، وَيَا خَالِقُ لَا خَالِقَ مَعَهُ، وَيَا مُنْفَرِدَ الصِّفَاتِ الْحُسْنَى لَا مُسَاوِيَ لَهُ،
Fa-yā man lā ʾilāha ʾillā ʾanta, wa-yā qadīma al-ʾaḥadi thumma siwāhu, wa-yā khāliqu lā khāliqa maʿahu, wa-yā munfarida al-ṣifāti al-ḥusnā lā musāwiya lahu,
O You besides whom there is no god! O “Ancient of the One, then what is other than Him” [the printed invocation is corrupt or unclear]! O Creator with no creator beside Him, unique in the most beautiful attributes, with none equal to Him!
وَيَا غِيَاثَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ قَبْلِي، وَيَا صَاحِبَ السَّحَرَةِ وَقَدْ غَدَوْا كُفَّارًا فَجَرَةً، فَنَالَتْهُمْ رَحْمَتُكَ، وَتَحَنَّنْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ بِرَأْفَتِكَ.
Wa-yā ghiyātha al-muʾminīna qablī, wa-yā ṣāḥiba al-saḥarati wa-qad ghadaw kuffāran fajaratan, fa-nālat-hum raḥmatuka, wa-taḥannanta ʿalayhim biraʾfatika.
O Rescuer of the believers before me, O Guardian of the sorcerers, who began their morning as wicked unbelievers, then were reached by Your mercy and enfolded in Your tender compassion!
Source page 79
[اطْلُبِ الْإِغَاثَةَ بِالتَّوْبَةِ مِنَ الذُّنُوبِ]
[Uṭlubi al-ʾighāthata bi-al-tawbati mina al-dhunūbi]
[Seek rescue through repentance from sins]
أَغِثْنِي وَلَا تَنْظُرْ إِلَى سُوءِ مَا عِنْدِي، وَلَا عِظَمِ جُرْمِي، كَمَا لَا يَمْنَعُكَ عَظِيمُ جُرْمِ السَّحَرَةِ، وَلَا خَطَايَا الْمُذْنِبِينَ قَبْلَهُمْ وَبَعْدَهُمْ، إِذْ مَنَنْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ بِالتَّوْبَةِ، وَمَنَحْتَهُمُ الْعِصْمَةَ.
ʾAghithnī wa-lā tanẓur ʾilā sūʾi mā ʿindī, wa-lā ʿiẓami jurmī, kamā lā yamnaʿuka ʿaẓīmu jurmi al-saḥarati, wa-lā khaṭāyā al-mudhnibīna qablahum wa-baʿdahum, ʾidh mananta ʿalayhim bi-al-tawbati, wa-manaḥtahumu al-ʿiṣmata.
Rescue me without looking at the evil within me or the enormity of my offense, just as the sorcerers’ enormous offense did not prevent You, nor the sins of those before and after them, when You favored them with repentance and granted them protection from sin.
فَالْغَوْثَ الْغَوْثَ، وَالْفَرَجَ الْفَرَجَ، فَقَدْ طَمَّعْتَنِي بِأَنْ تُعَجِّلَ فَرَجِي، وَتَفُكَّ مِنَ الذُّنُوبِ أَسْرِي.
Fa-al-ghawtha al-ghawtha, wa-al-faraja al-faraja, fa-qad ṭammaʿtanī bi-ʾan tuʿajjila farajī, wa-tafukka mina al-dhunūbi ʾasrī.
Rescue, rescue! Relief, relief! You have given me hope that You will hasten my relief and release me from captivity to sins.
فَعَجِّلِ الْفَرَجَ لِي وَلَوْ سَاعَةً مِنَ النَّهَارِ، ثُمَّ تُمِيتَنِي قَبْلَ أَنْ أُبَدِّلَ وَأُغَيِّرَ، وَأَنْ تُفَرِّجَ عَنِّي وَتَنْظُرَ إِلَيَّ فِي الْمُهْلَةِ، وَتَهَبَ لِي طِيبَ الْمُعَامَلَةِ لَكَ،
Fa-ʿajjili al-faraja lī wa-law sāʿatan mina al-nahāri, thumma tumītanī qabla ʾan ʾubaddila wa-ʾughayyira, wa-ʾan tufarrija ʿannī wa-tanẓura ʾilayya fī al-muhlati, wa-tahaba lī ṭība al-muʿāmalati laka,
Hasten relief for me, even for an hour of the day, then let me die before I alter or change [my state]. [I ask] that You relieve me and look toward me during the respite, granting me the sweetness of dealing with You sincerely.
وَذَلِكَ قُرَّةُ عَيْنِي فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ، فَأَقِرَّ عَيْنِي بِطَاعَتِكَ بَدَلًا مِمَّا قَرِرْتُ وَسُرِرْتُ بِإِيثَارِ الدُّنْيَا وَأَمَانِيهَا عَلَى مَحَبَّتِكَ.
Wa-dhālika qurratu ʿaynī fī al-dunyā wa-al-ʾākhirati, fa-ʾaqirra ʿaynī biṭāʿatika badalan mimmā qarirtu wa-surirtu bi-ʾīthāri al-dunyā wa-ʾamānīhā ʿalā maḥabbatika.
That is my heart’s delight in this world and the hereafter. Make obedience to You my delight, in place of the contentment and joy I found in preferring this world and its fantasies over love for You.
فَيَا أَسَفِي عَلَى مَا مَضَى مِنْ عُمُرِي، وَمَا فَاتَنِي مِنَ التَّلَذُّذِ بِمُنَاجَاتِكَ. فَأَنْتَ الْمَحْمُودُ عَلَى حُسْنِ […]،
Fa-yā ʾasafī ʿalā mā maḍā min ʿumurī, wa-mā fātanī mina al-taladhdhudhi bimunājātika. Fa-ʾanta al-maḥmūdu ʿalā ḥusni […],
What regret I feel for my life already spent and for the delight in intimate prayer to You that I have missed! You are praised for the goodness of […]
Source pages 79–80
فَلَقَدْ طَالَبْتَ فَأَحْسَنْتَ الْمُطَالَبَةَ، وَأَنْظَرْتَ فَأَحْسَنْتَ النَّظِرَةَ وَأَمْهَلْتَ فَلَكَ الْحَمْدُ كَمَا أَنْتَ أَهْلُهُ وَكَمَا يَنْبَغِي لِكَرَمِ وَجْهِكَ وَعِزِّ جَلَالِكَ، وَعِظَمِ رُبُوبِيَّتِكَ.
Fa-laqad ṭālabta fa-ʾaḥsanta al-muṭālabata, wa-ʾanẓarta fa-ʾaḥsanta al-naẓirata wa-ʾamhalta fa-laka al-ḥamdu kamā ʾanta ʾahluhu wa-kamā yanbaghī likarami wajhika wa-ʿizzi jalālika, wa-ʿiẓami rubūbiyyatika.
You have called me to account, and done so well; You have granted respite, and granted it well; You have allowed me time. Praise belongs to You as You deserve, as befits Your noble face, the might of Your majesty, and the greatness of Your lordship.
Source page 80
أَلَسْتَ الَّذِي أَهْتِكُ سِتْرِي وَتَسْتُرُنِي، وَأَتَبَغَّضُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِلَى خَلْقِكَ وَتُحِبُّنِي، وَأَتَبَاعَدُ مِنْكَ وَتُقَرِّبُنِي، وَأَتَحَرَّى مَسَاخِطَكَ وَأَنْتَ تَتَحَرَّى مَا يُرْضِينِي؟
ʾAlasta alladhī ʾahtiku sitrī wa-tasturunī, wa-ʾatabaghghaḍu ʾilayka wa-ʾilā khalqika wa-tuḥibbunī, wa-ʾatabāʿadu minka wa-tuqarribunī, wa-ʾataḥarrā masākhiṭaka wa-ʾanta tataḥarrā mā yurḍīnī?
Are You not the One who conceals me when I tear away my own covering, who loves me when I make myself hateful to You and Your creatures, who brings me near when I distance myself, and who seeks what pleases me when I seek what displeases You?
أَسْتَعِينُ بِنِعْمَتِكَ عَلَى مَعَاصِيكَ، وَبِإِحْسَانِكَ عَلَى تَضْيِيعِ أَمْرِكَ، آتِي مَا تَكْرَهُ شَأْنَهُ فَتَسْتُرُنِي، أُدِيمُ تَضْيِيعَ شُكْرِكَ وَتُدِيمُ بَرَكَتَكَ وَلُطْفَكَ،
ʾAstaʿīnu biniʿmatika ʿalā maʿāṣīka, wa-bi-ʾiḥsānika ʿalā taḍyīʿi ʾamrika, ʾātī mā takrahu shaʾnahu fa-tasturunī, ʾudīmu taḍyīʿa shukrika wa-tudīmu barakataka wa-luṭfaka,
I use Your blessings to help me disobey You, and Your kindness to neglect Your command. I do what You hate, and You conceal me. I persist in neglecting gratitude to You, and You persist in Your blessing and gentle care.
وَأَدْعُوكَ فَتَسْمَعُ إِجَابَتِي، وَتَدْعُونِي فَأُبْطِئُ عَنْ إِجَابَتِكَ، فَبِئْسَ الْعَبْدُ أَنَا لَكَ وَنِعْمَ الْمَوْلَى أَنْتَ لِي.
Wa-ʾadʿūka fa-tasmaʿu ʾijābatī, wa-tadʿūnī fa-ʾubṭiʾu ʿan ʾijābatika, fa-biʾsa al-ʿabdu ʾanā laka wa-niʿma al-mawlā ʾanta lī.
I call upon You and You hear my “answer” [printed thus], while You call me and I am slow to answer You. What a bad servant I am to You, and what an excellent Master You are to me!
فَلِذَلِكَ انْكَسَرَ فُؤَادِي، وَنَكَسَتِ الْمَذَلَّةُ رَأْسِي وَاسْتَحَيْتُ لِعِظَمِ جُرْمِي، وَلَوْلَا أَنِّي أَخَافُ إِنْ لَمْ أَسْأَلْكَ أَنْ تَغْضَبَ عَلَيَّ مَا سَأَلْتُكَ،
Fa-li-dhālika inkasara fuʾādī, wa-nakasati al-madhallatu raʾsī wa-istaḥaytu liʿiẓami jurmī, wa-lawlā ʾannī ʾakhāfu ʾin lam ʾasʾalka ʾan taghḍaba ʿalayya mā saʾaltuka,
For that reason my heart is broken, humiliation has bowed my head, and I feel shame at the enormity of my offense. Were I not afraid that You would be angry with me if I did not ask, I would not ask You.
عَلَّمْتَنِي أَسْمَاءَكَ، وَأَمَرْتَنِي بِدُعَائِكَ، فَقَدْ عَظُمَ فِيكَ طَمَعِي، وَأَرْجَيْتَنِي، ثُمَّ عَرَّفْتَنِي أَنَّهُ لَا إِلَٰهَ سِوَاكَ يُغِيثُنِي، وَلَا رَبَّ غَيْرَكَ يُفَرِّجُ عَنِّي،
ʿAllamtanī ʾasmāʾaka, wa-ʾamartanī biduʿāʾika, fa-qad ʿaẓuma fīka ṭamaʿī, wa-ʾarjaytanī, thumma ʿarraftanī ʾannahu lā ʾilāha siwāka yughīthunī, wa-lā rabba ghayraka yufarriju ʿannī,
You taught me Your names and commanded me to pray to You. My hope in You has grown great, and You have kept me waiting [the printed verb can also suggest deferral]. Then You made me know that no god but You can rescue me and no lord but You can relieve me.
فَأَنَا مُسْتَسْلِمٌ لِعَذَابِكَ لِعِظَمِ جُرْمِي، طَائِعٌ غَيْرُ آيِسٍ مِنْ رَحْمَتِكَ، لِمَا عَرَفْتُهُ مِنْ جُودِكَ وَكَرَمِكَ وَسَعَةِ رَحْمَتِكَ.
Fa-ʾanā mustaslimun liʿadhābika liʿiẓami jurmī, ṭāʾiʿun ghayru ʾāyisin min raḥmatika, limā ʿaraftuhu min jūdika wa-karamika wa-saʿati raḥmatika.
I surrender to Your punishment because of my enormous offense, submitting yet not despairing of Your mercy, because I know Your bounty, generosity, and the breadth of Your mercy.
Source pages 80–81
فَتَفَضَّلْ وَلَا تُكَافِئْ، وَاعْفُ وَلَا تُجَازِ، وَفَرِّجْ، وَلَا تُؤَاخِذْ، يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ، وَيَا أَكْرَمَ مِنْ كُلِّ كَرِيمٍ بَلْ لَا كَرِيمَ وَلَا جَوَادَ وَلَا رَاحِمَ بِالْحَقِيقَةِ غَيْرُكَ، لَمْ تَزَلْ وَلَا تَزَالُ كَذَلِكَ.
Fa-tafaḍḍal wa-lā tukāfiʾ, wa-uʿfu wa-lā tujāzi, wa-farrij, wa-lā tuʾākhidh, yā ʾarḥama al-rāḥimīna, wa-yā ʾakrama min kulli karīmin bal lā karīma wa-lā jawāda wa-lā rāḥima bi-al-ḥaqīqati ghayruka, lam tazal wa-lā tazālu ka-dhālika.
Grant grace rather than repayment, pardon rather than requital, relief rather than accounting, O Most Merciful of the merciful, more generous than every generous one! Indeed, in truth no one but You is generous, bountiful, or merciful. You have always been and will always be so.
Source page 81
الْقُلُوبُ كُلُّهَا تَصُوفُ عَنْ مَشِيئَتِكَ، وَالنَّوَاصِي كُلُّهَا بِيَدِكَ فِي قَبْضَتِكَ، وَرَحْمَتُكَ وَسِعَتْ كُلَّ خَلْقِكَ، وَعَفْوُكَ غَمَرَ كُلَّ بَرِيَّتِكَ،
Al-qulūbu kulluhā taṣūfu ʿan mashīʾatika, wa-al-nawāṣī kulluhā biyadika fī qabḍatika, wa-raḥmatuka wasiʿat kulla khalqika, wa-ʿafwuka ghamara kulla bariyyatika,
All hearts “turn aside from Your will” [the printed verb and preposition are uncertain in context], and every forelock is in Your hand, within Your grasp. Your mercy embraces all Your creation, and Your pardon envelops every creature.
وَعَرَّفْتَنِي نَفْسَكَ وَعَلِمْتَ ضَعْفِي فِي شِدَّةِ جُرْأَتِي عَلَيْكَ. وَهَا أَنَا ذَا بَيْنَ يَدَيْكَ غَرِيقٌ فَأَنْقِذْنِي، وَاثِقٌ بِبِرِّكَ فَزِدْنِي، وَحَيْرَانُ مُتَحَيِّرٌ فَسَدِّدْنِي، وَمَخْذُولٌ بِعُقُوبَتِكَ لِطُولِ تَمَادِيهِ.
Wa-ʿarraftanī nafsaka wa-ʿalimta ḍaʿfī fī shiddati jurʾatī ʿalayka. Wa-hā ʾanā dhā bayna yadayka gharīqun fa-ʾanqidhnī, wāthiqun bibirrika fa-zidnī, wa-ḥayrānu mutaḥayyirun fa-saddidnī, wa-makhdhūlun biʿuqūbatika liṭūli tamādīhi.
You made Yourself known to me and knew my weakness amid my great insolence toward You. Here I am before You, drowning, so save me; trusting in Your goodness, so give me more; bewildered and confused, so guide me aright; abandoned under Your punishment for his prolonged persistence [the source shifts to the third person].
فَاغْمُدْنِي بِعَفْوِكَ وَارْحَمْنِي بِرَحْمَتِكَ وَرَأْفَتِكَ وَتَحَنُّنِكَ فَقَدْ مَسَّنِي النَّكَالُ وَغَيَّرَتْ أَحْوَالِيَ الْعُقُوبَةُ حَتَّى صِرْتُ إِلَى شَرِّ مَنْزِلَةٍ فِي دِينِي،
Fa-ughmudnī biʿafwika wa-irḥamnī biraḥmatika wa-raʾfatika wa-taḥannunika fa-qad massanī al-nakālu wa-ghayyarat ʾaḥwāliya al-ʿuqūbatu ḥattā ṣirtu ʾilā sharri manzilatin fī dīnī,
Enfold me in Your pardon and have mercy on me through Your mercy, compassion, and tenderness. Chastisement has touched me and punishment has changed my states, until I have reached the worst condition in my religion.
أَسْأَلُكَ فَلَا تُعْطِينِي، وَأَسْتَغِيثُ بِكَ فَلَا تُغِيثُنِي، وَأَتَضَرَّعُ إِلَيْكَ فَلَا تَرْحَمُنِي، وَأَسْتَجِيرُ بِكَ فَتَصْرِفُ وَجْهَكَ عَنِّي،
ʾAsʾaluka fa-lā tuʿṭīnī, wa-ʾastaghīthu bika fa-lā tughīthunī, wa-ʾataḍarraʿu ʾilayka fa-lā tarḥamunī, wa-ʾastajīru bika fa-taṣrifu wajhaka ʿannī,
I ask You, and You do not give to me; I seek Your rescue, and You do not rescue me; I implore You, and You do not pity me; I seek Your protection, and You turn Your face from me.
وَلَوْلَا ذَلِكَ لَذُقْتُ بَرْدَ عَفْوِكَ، وَأَثَرَ حُسْنِ إِجَابَتِكَ، وَذَلِكَ كُلُّهُ قَلِيلٌ لِمَا أَسْتَوْجِبُهُ مِنَ الْعُقُوبَةِ لِجُرْأَتِي عَلَيْكَ بَعْدَ الْعِلْمِ بِكَ وَالْمَعْرِفَةِ بِشِدَّةِ عَذَابِكَ.
Wa-lawlā dhālika ladhuqtu barda ʿafwika, wa-ʾathara ḥusni ʾijābatika, wa-dhālika kulluhu qalīlun limā ʾastawjibuhu mina al-ʿuqūbati lijurʾatī ʿalayka baʿda al-ʿilmi bika wa-al-maʿrifati bishiddati ʿadhābika.
Otherwise I would have tasted the coolness of Your pardon and the effect of Your gracious answer. All of this is little compared with the punishment I deserve for daring against You after knowing You and knowing the severity of Your punishment.
يَا رَبِّ، فَلَوْ كُنْتَ تَدَعُنِي بِذُنُوبِي الَّتِي كَانَتْ، وَتَمْنَعُنِي بِمَعْصِيَتِكَ مِنَ الِازْدِيَادِ كُلَّ يَوْمٍ فِي ذُنُوبِي كَانَ أَقَلَّ لِغَمِّي وَهَمِّي ذُنُوبِي،
Yā rabbi, fa-law kunta tadaʿunī bidhunūbī allatī kānat, wa-tamnaʿunī bimaʿṣiyatika mina al-izdiyādi kulla yawmin fī dhunūbī kāna ʾaqalla lighammī wa-hammī dhunūbī,
Lord, if You left me with the sins already committed and prevented me, “through disobedience to You,” from adding to my sins each day [the printed means is incongruous], my sins would cause me less grief and anxiety.
Source page 82
وَأُخَاطِبُ نَفْسِي بِالرَّدِّ وَلَمْ تَمْنَعْنِي مِنَ الِازْدِيَادِ عَلَى بَلَائِي إِلَّا الْبَقِيَّةُ الَّتِي بَقِيَتْ لِي عِنْدَكَ.
Wa-ʾukhāṭibu nafsī bi-al-raddi wa-lam tamnaʿnī mina al-izdiyādi ʿalā balāʾī ʾillā al-baqiyyatu allatī baqiyat lī ʿindaka.
I address my soul, urging it back. Nothing has kept me from adding to my affliction except the remnant that remains for me with You.
لَمْ تُخْرِجْنِي مِنْ وِلَايَتِكَ وَلَكِنْ قَدْ أُفْرِحَ قَلْبِي وَأَهَلَّ فُؤَادِي مِنْ ذِكْرِ رَحْمَتِكَ.
Lam tukhrijnī min wilāyatika wa-lākin qad ʾufriḥa qalbī wa-ʾahalla fuʾādī min dhikri raḥmatika.
You have not excluded me from Your friendship. Rather, my heart has been gladdened and my inmost heart has cried out with joy through remembering Your mercy.
فَيَا طُولَ وَيْلَاهُ وَيَا تَلَذُّذَ النَّارِ، أَيْنَ الْمَهْرَبُ وَكَيْفَ الْحِيلَةُ؟
Fa-yā ṭūla waylāhu wa-yā taladhdhudha al-nāri, ʾayna al-mahrabu wa-kayfa al-ḥīlatu?
How long the cry of woe, and what “delight of the Fire” [printed thus, uncertain in sense]! Where is escape, and what resource is there?
وَعِزَّتِكَ لَا أَقْطَعُ أَمَلِي فِيكَ، وَأَنْتَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ إِلَّا أَنْ يَتَحَوَّلَ خِذْلَانُكَ عَنِّي، وَلَا تُسْخِطْنِي، فَأَنَا مُنْتَظِرٌ لِعَطْفِكَ وَرَأْفَتِكَ وَتَحَنُّنِكَ وَكَرَمِكَ.
Wa-ʿizzatika lā ʾaqṭaʿu ʾamalī fīka, wa-ʾanta ʾarḥamu al-rāḥimīna ʾillā ʾan yataḥawwala khidhlānuka ʿannī, wa-lā tuskhiṭnī, fa-ʾanā muntaẓirun liʿaṭfika wa-raʾfatika wa-taḥannunika wa-karamika.
By Your might, I will not cut off my hope in You, for You are the Most Merciful of the merciful, except that Your abandonment should turn away from me [the printed exception is irregular]. Do not make me displeased [printed thus]. I await Your compassion, gentleness, tenderness, and generosity.
Source colophon
Source page 83
تَمَّتْ مُعَاتَبَةُ النَّفْسِ بِحَمْدِ اللَّهِ، غَفَرَ اللَّهُ لِمَنْ قَرَأَهُ، وَدَعَى لِكَاتِبِهِ بِالرَّحْمَةِ وَالْمَعْرِفَةِ.
Tammat muʿātabatu al-nafsi biḥamdi Allāhi, ghafara Allāhu liman qaraʾahu, wa-daʿā likātibihi bi-al-raḥmati wa-al-maʿrifati.
The Reproach of the Soul is complete, with praise to God. May God forgive whoever reads it and prays for its scribe to receive mercy and knowledge.
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